Lockdown wedding:
Despite the coronavirus pandemic throwing her big day into doubt, determined Heidi Crowter was able to marry her soulmate James in a perfect ceremony
“Down’s Syndrome didn’t stop us from finding love”
Having been born with Down’s syndrome, Heidi Crowter says she is used to life’s challenges. So when COVID19 threatened to scupper her wedding plans, Heidi was determined that her big day would still go ahead.
In July this year, the 25 year old and her now-husband, James, were one of the few couples to have a wedding ceremony during the pandemic.
Heidi, who lives in Coventry, says, “It’s been a stressful few months, but I’m so glad we’re finally husband and wife.
“I want people to know that having Down’s syndrome doesn’t hold you back from falling in love.”
CONFIDENCE
Down’s syndrome is caused by an extra chromosome in the genetic make-up, which leaves those born with the condition with lower immune systems, making them more susceptible to illnesses such as pneumonia and flu. People with Down’s syndrome have a range of abilities – while some are very independent, others may need more regular help and care.
Heidi says, “Growing up with Down’s syndrome was tough at times. I had lots of hospital appointments and was trolled online as a teenager, which affected my self-esteem. But I always knew that, one day,
I’d find love.”
Heidi had dreamt of getting married since she was a little girl. As she got older, she grew in confidence, becoming a campaigner for disability rights and even speaking at the Houses of Parliament. Then, in October 2017, she met James, 27, who also has Down’s syndrome.
Despite living nearly 200 miles away from each other, one of
Heidi’s relatives set the pair up after meeting James at her local church.
Heidi says, “When I first received James’ message on Facebook, I was amazed that such an incredible man wanted to speak to me.
“I’d had a holiday romance before, but I knew he wasn’t for me. With James, though, we had a lot in common, aside from our condition. We both liked the same Disney films and The Wizard Of Oz.
“Our first date was at a bowling alley. He was really good at bowling – and an even better kisser!”
After their first date, the pair visited each other whenever they could, but with James in Weymouth and Heidi in Coventry, they spent a lot of time video calling.
SURPRISED
Heidi says, “On 30 December 2018, James took me on a date to my favourite steak restaurant in Coventry.
“I’d been dropping hints that he should propose, but I was still surprised when he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. He’d asked my dad for his permission and got me a lovely ring.
“I started to cry and said, ‘Yes’, as everyone in the restaurant clapped.”
The happy couple decided to marry on 4 July 2020 and Heidi began planning her wedding. They invited 220 family and friends, then booked a local church where they would say their vows and a country hotel for their wedding reception.
James’ mum began making plans for a three-tier wedding
cake, while a friend offered to make Heidi a dress.
But in March 2020, everything changed when the government announced weddings were banned due to lockdown measures to prevent the spread of COVID-19.
❛ OUR FIRST DATE WAS BOWLING. HE WAS GOOD AT IT – AND EVEN BETTER AT KISSING! ❜
SHIELDING
Both Heidi and James have low immune systems as a result of Down’s syndrome, and became part of the “at risk” group who were advised to shield.
Worse still, with James living with his parents in Weymouth, and Heidi living alone in Coventry, they were unable to see each other.
Heidi says, “Everything felt like it was going wrong. I couldn’t see James and my dream wedding was in tatters.”
But, as they were still determined to marry, the couple changed their plans.
They made arrangements to get married in Heidi’s parents’ garden, with only five people present – in keeping with government guidelines at the time. However, a week before their wedding, Boris Johnson announced that small weddings, of up to 30 people, could take place.
Heidi says, “I was so happy that we could have more people, and at the church we’d originally chosen.
“Not everything was as we’d planned. Rather than a bespoke dress, I borrowed one from my sister, and our hotel reception was downsized to a pub.
“But I was thrilled that all of the people I loved would be there to see us get married. On the morning of our wedding, I was jumping with joy.”
During the ceremony, guests sat apart from each other and wore masks.
PERFECT
Heidi says, “The day was perfect – I even made a speech. I wanted to tell James what a beautiful man he is and how dapper he looked.”
The wedding was streamed online and 1,000 people tuned in to watch the happy couple exchange vows. Footage of the wedding on YouTube has now been watched 30,000 times.
Heidi says, “It’s amazing that so many people watched me marry my best friend – that’s a whole lot of love.
“It might not have been the wedding we planned when we got engaged, but it was perfect.”
Heidi and James now live alone and have support workers who come daily, alongside Heidi’s parents, who help the couple.
Heidi says, “I hope it sends a message to people with Down’s syndrome. James and I are taking the world by storm!”
Heidi’s mum Liz, 53, says, “The night Heidi was born, I worried she would never get married. It’s silly now in hindsight, but it seemed like the end of the world then.
“But from the age of eight, Heidi was always determined she would marry one day. When she met James, both his mum and I were sure it would happen – James even wrote his wedding speech after their first date!
“They show that you should never underestimate what people are capable of. Some people have very stereotypical views about those with Down’s syndrome and that leads to people limiting them and thinking they can’t do as much as they can. Instead, they will go as far as they can, and they do!”