Trisha: “Say yes to everything, you never know what might turn up”
As the UK’s queen of talk TV in the ’90s, Trisha Goddard helped families to deal with their problems, but the 63-year-old star has suffered her own share of ups and downs. Her first husband turned out to be gay and died as a result of AIDS, she survived breast cancer in 2008, and she’s been through three painful divorces. At one point, after battling drug addiction, she was left suicidal following a bout of depression. But today, London native Trisha – who has daughters Billie, 31, and Madison, 26 – lives happily in Connecticut, America, with her businessman partner. Here, she shares her advice for getting the most out of life…
STAY ACTIVE IN BODY AND MIND
There’s no secret to feeling and looking young – but filters help! Plus having a sense of humour, even in dark times. Running helped me power through my radiotherapy and chemo treatment when I had breast cancer. Exercise has been my saviour in lockdown, too. Changing your scenery helps with low mood – even just going into a different room. Fresh air and green space make me happy – I live on the coast and I bike, run or walk everywhere. Embrace each day.
ACCEPT THE INEVITABLE
When I was in my early twenties, I was a member of cabin crew for Gulf Air and we were told to prepare for a crash landing. I remember that moment of panic – I wanted to undo my safety harness and run and scream, but I realised, what good would that do? The plane would still crash. Instead, I gritted my teeth, prepared myself, we landed and I was OK. It taught me self-preservation – now, in difficult situations, like my last marriage break-up, I don’t get hysterical; I brace, take care of number one, and work out how I will crawl away from the wreckage. That is still my philosophy today. While change is scary, it can often be a good thing.
BE OPEN TO ADVENTURES
I’m always up for good times and adventures. You only live once. Life is short, and it can change with a flip of a coin in ways you could never imagine. My fella [they met in late 2017] and I do long hiking expeditions – it’s great fun. He loves sailing and we sometimes take our boat up to the Statue of Liberty or go kayaking around the harbour. I finally have a partner who loves to try new things and can keep up with me. He moved in with me because of lockdown and he’s still with me.
KEEP MOVING FORWARD
When I divorced my third husband [Peter Gianfrancesco] in 2017, I wasn’t looking for a new relationship, but I did accept all sorts of invitations from girlfriends to keep moving forward. Dinner parties? Yes. Hiphop dance classes? Why not?! That would be my advice for anyone who is single: say yes to everything. That’s how I met my fella – I met him through friends at a ball to raise money to improve horse-riding trails. I haven’t ridden a horse since my twenties!
NEVER SAY NEVER TO LOVE
If this is the last relationship I have, I’d be very happy. For the first time, I’m in a relationship with someone who looks after me, although I will always work – I don’t understand the concept of retirement.
I’d go nuts! But I’ve always had relationships where I have been the alpha – I’ve done all the cooking and childcare, but was also the main breadwinner. I got more and more resentful of that. So when they would tap me on the back in bed, I would say “F*** off, I’m knackered and worrying about money!” Now I’ve got the most intimate relationship I’ve ever had, and it’s not just because I’ve finally got a sex life! This is the first time I’m with someone who earns more than I do. And he’s a great cook. His wife died of cancer and he stayed with her until her dying breath, and was a single dad to raise his kids. I think he’s pretty gorgeous too, so I feel so lucky!
CHECK IN ON LOVED ONES
My sister [Linda, who battled schizophrenia and died in 1988] killed herself, and I still think about her a lot. I had a period in a psychiatric hospital after my daughter Mads was born, but I live with depression, rather than suffering from it, and I incorporate management of it into my lifestyle. I haven’t had an episode for years, but I was about to fall off a mental health cliff when my last marriage was coming to an end after 20 years, in 2016, and I realised there was nothing I could do to fix it. My daughters could see me going downhill and were watchful. I live in the US, and they live in London, and we FaceTime much more recently. I might be cooking or on the cross-trainer, but we talk, and I have a strong intuition about how they’re doing. I would say the one good thing to come out of the pandemic is that is has brought us even closer.
WINNING ISN’T EVERYTHING
I was the first to be eliminated from Dancing On Ice last year, but I wanted to take part in the show because I felt it would be good for me to learn a new skill. I had never skated in my life before and now I love it. There aren’t many beginners at my age, but it’s never too late to try something different. I’m trying to talk a couple of my girlfriends into coming with me to try it – but they’re half my age!
● Trisha Goddard is on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories at 9pm on Thursday, 25 February
‘We need a sense of humour – even in dark times’