“Mum slept with my boyfriend when I was pregnant – but I forgave her”
When Aimy Dennis was expecting her first son, her mum committed the ultimate betrayal – but astonishingly they’re now closer than ever...
IT’S TAKEN TIME AND COUNSELLING, BUT NOW WE SEE EACH OTHER EVERY DAY
As she went into labour with her second child on 18 April, there was only one person Aimy Dennis wanted by her side – her mum, Linda Fraher, 45. And when her son Izaiah was born at 2.30am the following morning, it was Linda who cut the cord and had the first cuddle.
As the three of them bonded, Aimy couldn’t help but think how different things had been when she had her first baby Amari, now three. Just two weeks before his birth, she had caught her mum in bed with her boyfriend, Ryan, 29 – who’s the father to both of Aimy’s sons.
ALONE
Unsurprisingly, the fallout was horrendous and Aimy faced giving birth alone, until two friends stepped in to support her. But against the odds, the family have resolved their differences, and now Aimy and Ryan have become parents again.
Aimy, 27, who works in a bar and lives in Belton, Norfolk, says, “If someone had told me then that I’d be pregnant with Ryan’s baby again after what happened, I’d have said no chance. But here we are! We are not together, though – we were in a bubble together for lockdown so we could both see Amari, and one night we got carried away and I fell pregnant again.
“My mum’s betrayal felt deeper to me than Ryan’s, but I’ve forgiven her. In fact, we’re now closer than we were before. It’s taken time and counselling, but now we see each other every day. She’s an amazing mum and an even more amazing nan. It’s all water under the bridge now.”
Aimy met Ryan seven years ago through her neighbour. She admits their relationship was always volatile and that they got into a cycle of breaking up and then getting back together.
Aimy says, “There was an intense physical attraction between us and he really made me laugh. But I struggled to trust him and we’d split up quite often.”
Ironically, her mum neither liked nor trusted Ryan, and encouraged Aimy to get him out of her life – but then she fell pregnant with his baby.
Aimy says, “When I found out I was pregnant, Ryan was thrilled and we agreed to really make a go of our relationship. We went shopping for baby bits together and picked out a babygrow that said “Mummy and Daddy love me”. He was always stroking my bump. It was lovely.”
But when Aimy was 35 weeks pregnant, in October 2017, she started to feel suspicious that her mum was flirting with Ryan and began to fear they could be seeing each other behind her back.
PARANOID
Aimy says, “Mum was always laughing at his jokes and would touch his arm whenever she could. She also started wearing my perfume – it was odd.
“When I questioned them, they denied anything was going on, so I put it down to pregnancy hormones making me paranoid. But then a friend told me that she’d seen them going into a hotel together. When I heard her words, I had this sense of dread – I just knew what they were doing.”
Unable to shake off her sense of foreboding, Aimy was determined to uncover the truth. And when a friend told her a couple of days later that Ryan’s car was outside her mum’s house, she went over and let herself in.
She says, “I quietly crept up the stairs, opened the door and found them together in bed. The house had three other bedrooms that Ryan could have been in if he’d just wanted somewhere to stay. I screamed at them and Ryan tried to hide under the duvet. Mum looked horrified and followed me as I ran out of the house in shock. It was a relief to finally know for certain and that I wasn’t being paranoid.
“But mostly I was absolutely heartbroken that the two people closest to me could have betrayed me like that. I felt very, very alone.”
Aimy understandably wanted
nothing more to do with them, though they both reached out to her to say nothing had happened or was going on.
And when she gave birth to Amari on 6 November 2017, she had her best friends with her. She says, “My 14-hour labour was so painful, but my friends were there and they were amazing. And when Amari was born, I felt strong, I looked at him and realised that I could do it all on my own and I just wanted to protect him and give him a happy life.”
Both Linda and Ryan continued to beg for forgiveness and, incredibly, by January 2018 Aimy started to let them into her life again. She says, “I wanted Amari to have a father – however useless he was as a boyfriend, I hoped he’d be a better dad. I didn’t want a relationship with him though, as I knew I could never trust him again.
BOND
“With Mum it was more difficult – when I was in labour I even cried out for her. It was a primal instinct – when suffering you always want your mum. But I didn’t think I could ever get over what she did to me.
“But once I had Ryan back into my life it seemed only fair to let her back in, too. Mum had been calling most days, leaving messages saying sorry and wanting to meet Amari. One day, on a whim, I took her call and said she could meet him.
“When she came round, we didn’t exactly fall into each other’s arms! I couldn’t get over her betrayal easily.
“But part of the reason I wanted her back in my life was because I was so close to my nan when I was growing up – I’d even lived with her for periods of my childhood. So I know what an incredible and important relationship it can be and I wanted my children to have that with her.
“And mum is an incredible nan. The bond between her and Amari is incredible, he’s only three but already knows how to call her on the phone and ask her to come over.”
Aimy also had counselling last year to help her deal with everything that happened, and she says it helped her hugely to move on.
She says, “Mum and Ryan have both admitted they had sex, but claim it was only the once and that it was a drunken mistake. I don’t torture myself with it any more. I’ve had therapy and I’ve learned how to talk and express myself, but also listen. It’s helped my mum and me to get so much closer and build the trust back. I know she’d never do anything like that to me again.”
However, Aimy’s relationship with Ryan is not as good.
She says, “I wanted Amari to see his father and so it made sense for us to bubble up together during lockdown. We got closer and the chemistry we’d always had was there. We had sex and I fell pregnant, but even though I was happy to be having another baby, I knew Ryan and I were never going to work.”
ANOTHER CHANCE
And this time round Aimy was in no doubt about who she wanted with her during the birth. She says, “I wanted my mum with me and she was amazing. I couldn’t have done it without her.
“Ryan isn’t really part of our lives at the moment, though he will always be the boys’ father and I would never stop him from seeing them.
“But Mum comes every day. She’s more than made up for what she did to me. I’ve never really understood how or why she did do it – I don’t think she understands it either. I’m so glad I gave her another chance, although I know many people will question why I did. But that’s all in the past now – and I can’t imagine her not being in my life.”
Linda says, “Aimy and I have a wonderful relationship and I’m so grateful that she gave me a second chance. I love her boys so much and I will never let any of them down again.”
Ryan says, “I regret sleeping with Linda and I’d do anything to change it. I’m truly sorry.”