HOW CAN YOU HEAL FROM LOSING A PET?
To mark Pet Remembrance Day, Closer looks at the agony faced by those who lose a much-loved companion
When Lucy Wilsdon watched helplessly as her cat, Louie, was struck by a car in July
2019, she was devastated.
She tried everything in her power to save her beloved pet but, sadly, even after vets’ desperate efforts, Louie died shortly after being hit.
Two years on, Lucy, 46, from Sussex, is still coming to terms with Louie’s shocking death. She says, “The day Louie died haunts me – I can’t drive down the lane where he was hit without bursting into tears. People don’t understand how difficult losing a pet is – Louie was my whole world.”
Many celebrities have also spoken out about the loss of their pets. Hollywood actress Reese Witherspoon said she was “heartbroken” when her dog, Pepper, died, while the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge paid tribute to their late dog, Lupo, last November, saying he was “the heart of our family.”
And just last month, US president Joe Biden and his wife, Jill, mourned their rescue dog, Champion. In a statement, they said, “In our most joyful moments and in our most grief-stricken days, he was there with us.”
Studies suggest symptoms of grief following the death of a pet last a year on average, and in 2017, experts reported that one woman’s grief was so severe, her body suffered similar symptoms to that of a heart attack.
A study by animal welfare charity Blue Cross has revealed that 38 per cent of pet owners have become depressed following the death of a pet.
LITTLE SUPPORT
But while pet bereavement affects many thousands of people each year, there’s little support. Many employers don’t offer pet bereavement leave and, often, there’s a lack of empathy with those suffering.
Emma McNulty, a restaurant worker from Glasgow, made headlines in 2019 when she was fired from her job because she was too grief-stricken to work following the death of her dog.
Wendy Andrew, a Pet Bereavement Counsellor, tells Closer, “The stress over losing an animal is not acknowledged or supported by society and it’s often viewed as an overreaction. Grieving a pet can feel different to grieving a human family member, but to dismiss someone’s feelings is cruel. It may be ‘just an animal’ but, to pet owners, they were companions and best friends.
“Losing an animal has been especially challenging during the pandemic. We’re already dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety, and so when a pet dies it can really affect an owner’s mental health. We need to be especially understanding during a time when we’re already feeling fragile. Only by speaking about pet bereavement openly and educating people will this stigma be challenged.”
Account executive Lucy vividly remembers Louie’s tragic death. She recalls, “I’d had Louie for two years, after getting him as a kitten. He was my shadow – he’d cuddle up to me in bed and, if I was watching TV, he’d block the screen to get my attention.
“In July 2019, Louie was walking across the country lane opposite my house when a speeding car ploughed into him. I watched as Louie howled in agony and his small body
flipped in the air. The driver sped away and I rushed over to him, but his body was limp.
“I took him to an emergency vet, where medics spent 20 minutes trying to save him, but he eventually died.
“My employer allowed me three days off work but, weeks later, I still couldn’t function or sleep. I became obsessed with finding the driver who’d knocked him over, but police couldn’t help as the driver hadn’t broken any laws. As it stands, it’s a legal requirement to report the incident to police if you run over a dog, but the same doesn’t apply for cats.
“After a couple of weeks, I tried speaking to a bereavement counsellor, but they dismissed me when they realised I was grieving for my cat. Fortunately, friends and family understood my pain.”
ADOPTION
After burying Louie in her garden, Lucy called the breeder where she got Louie from, and gave a home to three newborn kittens, who are Louie’s siblings. Lucy, who lives alone, says, “I still get upset thinking about Louie, but as they’re related, it’s like Louie’s still here.”
Claire Meadows, from Oxford, lost her much-loved dog, cocker spaniel Susie, suddenly in February.
Claire says, “Susie became poorly two years ago, when she was 10, but the vet expected she’d live on for a few more years with medication. But in February, my partner Keith found her lying at the bottom of the stairs, unable to move.”
Keith took Susie to the vet, where, sadly, she died. Claire never got the chance to say goodbye. She says, “We were beside ourselves, and knew we wanted to look after another animal. We found a two-year-old Saluki called Wizard in need of a home on the Blue Cross website. Susie knew how loved she was and it helped us so much with our grief.”
By Bella Evennett-Watts
● For more information, visit thescottishpetbereavement counsellingservice.com