HOW TO HANDLE KIDS’ SWEARING
Some recent research has discovered that we’re all cursing more, but Emma argues that parents do need to be careful
Ihave only sworn in front of my teenage sons on a few occasions and apologised immediately each time. I know they swear with their friends but have never done so in front of me, so my behaviour has rubbed off on them. The number one rule is to never use bad language when chastising kids. It can feel brutal for a child if an adult swears at them in anger, and kids are likely to mirror this behaviour, which might be damaging if they direct it at a teacher, say. If you regularly swear, it can be hard to educate them on why they have acted inappropriately if they do. Telling your child it is fine for adults to swear but not kids makes little sense and is likely to increase their desire to do it. If you keep cursing to a minimum, when you slip up, your kids will see this as an exception to the rule. Acknowledge you did it, explain why, then apologise. This helps reinforce that the language was inappropriate and regrettable. As they get older, they may want to swear in front of you. If you don’t mind that, let them, but make it a rule that bad language can’t be used in hostility – they shouldn’t swear at you when you tell them to turn off their Xbox, for example. Boundaries are important when loosening some rules. If you don’t want older kids swearing in front of you, meet them halfway – if you hear them cursing on the phone, let it go. Being a parent is as much about allowing your child to grow into an independent person as guiding them. As long as they are respectful towards you, don’t stress over the odd swear.