June Sarpong’s life lessons
Broadcaster, writer and campaigner June Sarpong OBE, 44, discusses her career, self love, friendships and coping with grief, and shares her tips for a healthy, happy life
‘ENJOY THE GOOD MOMENTS’
“A piece of advice I’d give to my younger self is that careers are a marathon, not a sprint – enjoy the good moments! Vernon Kay and I were recently saying we had some amazing moments working on breakfast show T4 together, but we were always waiting for the next thing. I don’t think we realised how amazing it was at the time – although we do now! If you’re doing something you love, which you feel lucky to be able to do, enjoy that moment. Looking for the next best thing is human nature, but it’s something we should work on.”
‘IT’S GOOD TO HAVE OPEN CONVERSATIONS’
“I’m director of creative diversity at the BBC, so I’ve seen first-hand that the industry is moving in the right direction towards inclusivity – albeit not fast enough. People are finally realising that inclusion is a priority. I’m hopeful for the future – this past year has created an environment for conversations that should have taken place a long time ago.
“We’re much more comfortable discussing race, and the #MeToo and
Time’s Up movements meant we discussed the harassment of women in the workplace, too. All of these important conversations are coming to the surface, which is a good thing.”
‘PICK PALS WHO LIFT YOU UP’
“Friends are everything. Pick pals who lift you up and want the best for you. You don’t need lots – a few good ones are enough.
“The best kind of friend is someone who will listen to you moan but knows when to tell you to get over yourself, and who is also comfortable talking to you during your dark times. Obviously you want someone to have fun with and have a laugh with, but you also want someone for when life gets tough.”
‘FRIENDSHIP BREAK-UPS ARE SOMETIMES NECESSARY’
“It’s OK to distance yourself from friends – you’re not always the same people you were when you met. I think ghosting happens more in friendships, as it’s harder to break up with friends. With a relationship, if it gets co-dependent and toxic, you realise it’s not working, but there are no rules for breaking up with mates. We should normalise it. Divorce was seen as the worst thing years ago, and we expected marriages to last forever, regardless of how unhappy they were. Now, we accept marriages don’t last forever – we need to do the same for friendships.”
‘HEALING FROM GRIEF IS ABOUT TAKING EACH DAY AS IT COMES’
“I lost my brother Sam in 2015, when he was just 40 years old, to suicide. Healing from grief is about taking each day as it comes. That’s all you can do – focus on taking baby steps to heal, and really value your own life. Although some of us have lost loved ones, we’re still here, and we owe it to them to lead good lives.”
‘ACCEPT YOU MAY STRUGGLE WITH CONFIDENCE’
“As I get older, I understand the phrase, ‘Youth is wasted on the youth’. When you’re at your best physically, you’re riddled with self-doubt and insecurity, but loving yourself comes with age. I’m loving growing older – I feel as young as I was when I was in my twenties, although I think I have more wisdom and patience. Of course, I have days where I struggle with self-confidence, but I just accept it and I don’t beat myself up about it.
“In my book, Power Of Women, I talk about the menstrual cycle, which we often think of as just ‘the bleed’, but the hormonal swings going on cause all sorts of emotional changes. Sometimes, if I wake up and I’m feeling a bit down, I think, ‘Is this a negative thought, or is this because I’m at this stage of my cycle?’ Knowing it’s hormonal means I deal with negative thoughts very differently – there’s less stress when you know it’s completely normal.”
‘FOCUS ON SELF-LOVE’
“When it comes to relationships and being single, people have to choose what’s right for them. I don’t think human beings are designed to be alone – we’re designed to be in a union of some sort, but there’s no point being in one that’s not positive. Before focusing on relationships, I think we should focus on self-love, which will help us make better choices for ourselves.”
‘PRIORITISE YOUR HEALTH AS YOU GET OLDER’
“My attitude to health has changed a lot over the years. I eat better than I’ve ever eaten in my life and I drink lots of water. The things you do during your forties will determine the kind of life you live in your old age. When you’re young, you can do anything, but once you hit your forties, you must change unhealthy habits, because this period will determine how your seventies and eighties go.
“I like yoga and I’ve started doing African dance, which is a lot of fun. It’s short but exhausting, because it really moves your body. Your heart rate goes up and it’s great for your core – although my rhythm still has some work to do!”
● The Power Of Women by June Sarpong, published by HQ HarperCollins, is out now.
‘I don’t think human beings are designed to be alone’