HANDLE MEDDLING MUMS & FRIENDSHIP FALLOUTS

Now we’re all on various WhatsApp groups for school or extracurricular clubs, mums of your children’s pals have a direct line to you. Emma explains how to deal with interactions with care

Every mum wants their child to be popular and to thrive socially. Children also fall out, or transition from one group of peers to another. Before mobile technology, kids tended to sort out these problems themselves. However, if you’re a parent in extended Facebook and WhatsApp groups, you may become far more involved in their bust-ups.

PROTECT YOUR CHILD

Your son or daughter’s happiness and emotional wellbeing is your priority and you need to defend them above the needs and reactions of anyone else. If you or a member of your family are put in the spotlight and if you feel ganged up on, politely message that you are withdrawing from the group due to differences of opinion.

RESPECT THEIR WISHES

If your child has fallen out with a friend, another option is to contact the parent with a grievance separately and suggest having a chat. This respects your child’s confidence while ensuring the parent feels heard. Approach the conversation in a nonargumentative manner, but make it clear that all you have the power to do is to support your child and to give them the time and space they need to work through their issues. Don’t make promises that a friendship will be restored – it isn’t your job to direct your child to like someone that they may have felt hurt by. Remind the parent that you can still like one another, even if your children feel differently. If a parent is downright pushy and critical, while this may provoke a primal urge to lash out and defend your child, remember that even though their behaviour is frustrating, it comes from them feeling afraid for their own child.

LET THEM LEARN

You can politely refute other parents’ accusations without getting into a fight. The truth is that, left to their own devices, kids tend to sort things out by themselves. Being able to do this is an important life lesson that will ultimately help them to build resilience.