DON’T JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE’S CHOICES HOW TO TEACH YOUR KIDS BODY CONFIDENCE

With social distancing and mask wearing now a personal option in many settings, here’s how to handle potential conflict During the summer, we’re bombarded with images of ‘perfect’ bodies on social media and TV that can make us all feel insecure, includin

Ihave been very fortunate to have been treated respectfully throughout the pandemic, but I know of many who haven’t. It’s horrible to be on the receiving end of another person’s judgement or anger, so if you find yourself in a situation like this, stay calm. Walking away and ignoring your antagonist is the easiest way to manage this type of interaction. Sadly, this strategy isn’t possible when you are in a confined space, say travelling on the bus to work. Should this type of altercation occur, try not to engage. If you can, make the driver aware, so that they can perhaps help you manage the situation, and if needs be, get off at the next stop. Your safety is more important. Judgements may also come from closer to home. Many families have felt divided over the way that certain relatives have chosen to deal with the pandemic. You might carry on wearing masks while some of your nearest and dearest don’t or vice versa, and this may infuriate you. It may be tempting to lecture them about why they’re wrong, but while it could give you shortterm satisfaction, it could damage the relationship. People will regain confidence at their own pace. The key is to act in a compassionate and understanding manner, where you appreciate that the way you live your life is your business, as is the case for others. You can only ever control your own behaviour, so concentrate on living your truth and afford everyone else the same privilege.

utting on a bikini or a pair of shorts can make many of us feel vulnerable and exposed. These feelings are often compounded at this time of year, when we feel pressure to be “beach body” ready. Comparison can be especially hard when we’re younger, so how can we teach our kids to deal with it?

BE A ROLE MODEL

Body-positive attitudes start at home. If your kids see you struggling with your body, or pick up on you being afraid of other people’s opinions about the way you look, they may become more conscious of their body, too. For this reason, pay attention to the way you talk about yourself in front of your little ones. Ninetyseven per cent of women have at least one negative thought about their bodies every day. Learning to challenge them is key to changing negative thought patterns. Write a list of 10 positive affirmations about your body to repeat every time a pessimistic thought creeps in. Also, rather than trying to love everything about your body, aim for body acceptance and appreciation. For example, if you have stretch marks after giving birth, see them as a reminder of the incredible thing your body did. They are normal and positive.

FOCUS ON HEALTH AND HAPPINESS

If your child expresses concerns about their body, listen to their insecurities, but bring the emphasis back to the importance of being healthy and happy, rather than a certain shape or size. If someone compliments you in front of your children, thank them and accept it gracefully. Too often we bat these away without realising that we’re teaching our kids to do the same.

EASE OFF INSTAGRAM

Social media isn’t real life, but if someone is looking at photos of other people’s supposedly flawless selfies all day, it can affect their self-worth. If your child uses online platforms, talk to them about digitally-altered images. Encourage them to follow a diverse range of people. Digitally detoxing is useful too, so agree to switch off phones at the beach or park. Urge your kids to do activities that make them appreciate their body, whether that’s sport, dancing or yoga – and join in.