‘Going on MasterChef is heart attack material!’
Actress, singer and national treasure Su Pollard, 71, on trying to keep her cool cooking for Gregg and John…
So, why MasterChef?
I’ve never been a great cook. But when they asked me, I thought, “Why not?” It proved to be enjoyable, but scary!
How was it cooking for the judges Gregg Wallace and
John Torode?
Very surreal – because I’ve only ever watched MasterChef from the comfort of my own living room, feeling grateful that I’m not there doing it! When you’re there in the kitchen, it feels unreal – and it’s nerve-wracking! If you were cooking at home?
I have to follow a recipe. I can do a nice piece of fish – usually with cherry tomatoes – and my dish was called “Pollard’s Pollock”. I practised it five times before I went on the show. It’s all about preparing, and getting the timings right – because suddenly they’re going, “You’ve got 30 minutes left!” and your stress levels go up another notch, it’s heart attack material!
Did they like it?
I think it was very well received, to be fair. They said, “We really like your flavours!” I did learn a lot, like how not to cook! I’m so glad that I did it.
Was anyone in your heat any good?
Munya [Chawawa – who’s made his name on YouTube] was excellent. His presentation and everything were just delightful, and Duncan James from Blue was terrific as well – very meticulous. Rita [Simons] has been cooking all her life and was marvellous, and of course there was Bez from Happy Mondays, and he knew his flavours!
Were there any mishaps?
I think everybody at some point made a little bit of a boo-boo. I chopped something up, then it flew off the preparation table – and I dropped an egg. Duncan forgot to put one of his ingredients in a dish, but it didn’t seem to matter – John and Gregg still said it tasted nice.
Will we see any of your famously flamboyant outfits?
You’ll certainly get a glimpse of the trousers and the head gear. And I usually love a long, flowing sleeve, but we were warned not to wear anything like that because we might catch fire… You ARE a legend – was anybody starstruck to meet you?
I’m about 280 years old, but people were very kind and some of the crew even asked me for an autograph. Mostly I get asked to say, “Don’t tell Miss Cathcart!” (Su’s famous line on Hi-de-Hi about her bad-tempered boss) – but I don’t mind, it makes me laugh! I spoke to Ruth Madoc (Gladys Pugh in the sitcom) last week actually; she’s a good cook – she makes a lot of nice stuff. What was the food like on Hi-de-Hi?
We never had to cook for ourselves! We were always on location, and I remember the food was almost like restaurant cuisine – we even had lobster on some occasions. It was terrific, we were extremely well looked after. We’d have afternoon tea as well, and then in the evenings we’d go out to a restaurant – we were stuffed!
What would it mean to make the MasterChef finals?
I’d be thrilled to bits, and so pleased with myself. It would be a tremendous confidence booster. If I got to take home a MasterChef apron? I’d put it in a glass case!
We can dream, can’t we?
By Hannah Wright