Barack Obama’s life lessons
He became the first African-American President of the United States and made a name for himself as one of the most popular and effective US leaders, thanks to his good humour and likeable character. As Barack Obama celebrates his 60th birthday this week, Closer takes a look at the important lessons he’s learned along the way…
‘BEING AROUND LOVED ONES
HELPS MENTAL HEALTH’
Born in Hawaii in 1961 to an American mother from English descent and a Kenyan father, Barack became the 44th President of the United States in 2009 and was elected for a second term until 2017. On dealing with his stressful job, he’s said, “Two things were important for me and my mental health. [First] exercise in the morning. And the second thing was family; having a block of time with my girls and with Michelle that was inviolate unless there was a genuine, immediate crisis. I was at dinner at 6.30pm every night. Listening to my daughters talk about their days and stupid boys and strange teachers, that always put my mind right.”
‘LIFE IS EASIER WHEN YOU ARE YOURSELF’
When Barack was three years old, his parents divorced and his dad returned to Kenya. He didn’t see him again until 1971. Barack has said, “Growing up without a dad, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I was, how the world perceived me, and what kind of man I wanted to be. It’s easy to absorb all kinds of messages from society about masculinity and come to believe that there’s a right way and a wrong way to be a man. But as I got older, I realised that my ideas about being a tough guy or cool guy just weren’t me. They were a manifestation of my youth and insecurity. Life became a lot easier when I simply started being myself.”
‘TALK THROUGH MARRIAGE PROBLEMS’
In 1992, he married fellow lawyer Michelle, née Robinson, now 57 – but admitted they suffered marital problems during his time in office. He said, “I think a lot of couples understand and have experienced when you’ve got external stress and pressure that in some ways can simultaneously bring you closer together, but it can also put strains on the marriage – and our marriage was no different. We went through our rough patches in the White House. The thing I think we were good about was talking stuff through, never losing fundamental love and respect for each other and prioritising our kids.”
‘UNDERSTAND WHAT MAKES YOU STRONG’
Barack has spoken openly about his struggles as a young adult to challenge negative views of his multicultural heritage. He said, “My father looked nothing like the people around me – that he was black as pitch, my mother white as milk – barely registered in my mind... We need to reject any politics that targets people because of race or religion. This isn’t a matter of political correctness. It’s a matter of understanding what makes us strong. The world respects us not just for our arsenal; it respects us for our diversity and our openness and the way we respect every faith.”
‘Me and Michelle never lost respect for each other’
‘TREAT OTHERS AS THEY WOULD TREAT YOU’
After working with black churches as a community organiser in his twenties, Obama became a Protestant Christian. Barack said, “I’m a Christian by choice. My family weren’t folks who went to church every week. And my mother was one of the most spiritual people I knew, but she didn’t raise me in the church. So I came to my Christian faith later in life, and it was because the precepts of Jesus Christ spoke to me in terms of the kind of life that I would want to lead—being my brothers’ and sisters’ keeper, treating others as they would treat me.”
‘TELL YOUR CHILDREN TO DREAM WITHOUT LIMITS’
Barack and Michelle share daughters Malia, 23, and Natasha, 20. Barack said, “It’s up to us to say to our daughters,
‘Don’t ever let images on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you to dream without limit and reach for those goals’. Above all, children need our unconditional love – whether they succeed or make mistakes, when life is easy and when life is tough.”
‘CHOOSE FRIENDS WHO’VE GOT YOUR BACK’
Barack has a host of celebrity friends including Beyoncé, Oprah Winfrey and George Clooney – as well as his childhood friends. He said, “To avoid being mistaken for a sellout, I chose my friends carefully. One gift I do seem to have is getting really, really good friends around me who’ve got my back. And that gives you a certain serenity in the midst of a lot of foolishness. My best friends from high school don’t operate any differently with me now than they did... they’d never call me Mr President!”