“My nan helped me to become a woman”
Jamie Rose Dee was overwhelmed when her 73-year-old step-nan offered to pay for surgery to help her transition from male to female
Born a boy, Jamie Rose Dee, 26, has endured a long journey to finally become the woman she was always meant to be. And it wouldn’t have been possible without the help of her 73-year-old step-nan, Sheila.
When Sheila learned that Jamie Rose needed money for voice feminisation surgery to complete her transition, the pensioner immediately offered £1,000 to help pay for the procedure.
Jamie, who lives in Manchester, went under the knife in June this year.
She says, “I couldn’t believe it when my nan offered to pay towards my surgery. She’s not a wealthy woman, and I told her I wouldn’t accept the money, but she refused to take no for an answer! There aren’t many 73-year-olds who could get their head around having a trans grandchild, but Sheila has always made me feel accepted and loved.”
DIFFERENT
Growing up, Jamie always knew she was different.
She says, “As soon as I started primary school, I knew I wasn’t like other boys my age. All my friends were girls and I was obsessed with all things pink and glittery.
“When I got to high school, I was bulled for being different. The boys would say I sounded like a girl or must be gay, so I tried to act more masculine.
“It was a confusing time, and I didn’t really know who I was. Around the same time, I started connecting with people online via Tumblr and, later, Instagram. I’d post pictures of myself online in gothic clothes and clashing prints – it was my way of exploring another side of me and working out who I was.
“I didn’t know that a person could be transgender. I knew I didn’t like being a boy, but I thought I was stuck that way.”
As she got older, Jamie continued to struggle with her identity. She says, “By 18, I had around 300k followers on Instagram. I had a big quiff and tanned skin – I looked like a Love Island contestant but I hated my appearance. By then, I knew that transgender people existed, but I had a big Adam’s apple and a strong jawline. The idea of becoming a woman seemed ridiculous and I kept my feelings secret.”
Aged 20, Jamie moved to Australia and was introduced to the LGBTQA+ community.
She says, “A friend of mine introduced me to his friend, who was transgender. She told me she was on hormones, and was having facial feminisation surgery. That day was lifechanging. Suddenly, the idea of becoming a woman seemed achievable – and there was a clear path I could take.”
Jamie phoned her mum,
Jane – who is Sheila’s daughterin-law – to tell her she was transgender. Jamie says, “I knew Mum would love me no matter what. She wasn’t fazed when I told her that I was trans and said she’d always known.”
SUPPORTIVE
Jane then told the rest of Jamie’s family about her transition.
Jamie says, “I wasn’t that close to the rest of my family back then – including Sheila. But I wanted everyone to know the real me, and Mum became my ‘spokesperson’.
She explained that I’d be using female pronouns and keep my first name, Jamie, but change my middle name from Ryan to Rose. I was so lucky that everyone was supportive.”
Like many trans people, Jamie joined an NHS waiting list to begin hormone treatment, but with a three-year wait, she began taking hormones she bought online. She says, “I wasn’t confident enough to start living as a woman until my body physically became more feminine.
PROCEDURES
“I loved seeing my body change – my face became fuller and I started growing breast tissue after around three months. When I returned to the UK, with help from my mum, I paid to get my facial feminisation surgery [FFS] done privately.”
FFS involves nine different procedures on the face and neck, all done during one operation including hairline lowering, cheek implants and brow contouring. The
surgery can cost around around £26,000.
Jamie went under the knife in May 2019. She says, “When I came round after surgery and saw myself in the mirror, I was euphoric. The healing process took about a year, but as soon as the swelling went down, I started presenting as a woman in public.”
Jamie was excited to show off her new look to her family.
She says, “When Sheila first saw me as a woman, she got really emotional. We weren’t especially close then, but she was so happy for me, and kept telling me I was beautiful. It was a special moment.”
At the start of the pandemic, Sheila moved in with Jamie’s mum and step-dad.
Jamie said, “I started seeing a lot more of her and we got closer.
“She’s such a vibrant lady and we’d spend hours chatting. She loved showing me pictures of herself as a young woman. Both my biological grandmothers had died by the time I was little, so it was lovely to spend quality time with her.”
FLOORED
But while Jamie embraced life as a woman, she still struggled with her deep voice.
She says, “I felt my voice was holding me back. I looked like a woman, but my voice was so deep. I was too embarrassed to speak in public. So when I came across vocal feminisation surgery online, I knew I had to do it and I started saving up. The surgery would cost £5,000 and I was really struggling. It felt like I’d never get it done until, one day, Mum called me and said she, my stepdad and Sheila were all going to contribute.
“When I heard Sheila had offered £1,000, I was floored. I told her I couldn’t accept that money, but she insisted.
“Before me, Sheila had never spoken to a transgender person. I’m so grateful my Nan helped me become a woman. She’s proof that age is no excuse to be close-minded. She was so accepting and just wanted me to be happy.”
Jamie had her vocal surgery in June this year. She says, “It was a really quick procedure, and it didn’t hurt at all. I couldn’t speak for about two weeks, but when I did, my voice was higher and felt more ‘me’.”
After surgery, Jamie wrote a Tweet, explaining that Sheila had helped pay for surgery. Within a few days, the Tweet went viral, and praise poured in for Sheila.
Jamie says, “I printed off lots of the Tweets, and gave them to Sheila, along with a bunch of flowers. I wanted her to understand how she’d changed my life forever.
“Sheila has never questioned my transition. She understands that I was born as a woman, and she’s only ever wanted me to be happy. I’m finally happy with who I am, and, right now, I don’t feel the need to have any further surgery. My transition has been tough at times, but I’ve bonded with Sheila because of it. I want everyone to know how amazing she is.”
SHE WAS SO ACCEPTING AND JUST WANTED ME TO BE HAPPY