Montana: “I won’t pressure myself to look a certain way – it’s so unhealthy”
Love Island star Montana Brown discusses overcoming anxiety and depression, the tragic loss of close friend Mike Thalassitis, and why she wants to see more natural bodies on the show
While the nation’s eyes are on the heartbreaks and dramas of this year’s Love Island, former contestant Montana Brown jokes that another series is a gentle reminder she’s getting older.
The star, who came fifth on the show in 2017, laughs, “I always get upset when a new series comes on because I’m like, ‘Oh god, I’m another year older!’”
Since leaving the villa, life has been full of ups and downs for Montana, who battled with anxiety after the show as she struggled to adjust to fame. She then lost her close friend and fellow contestant
Mike Thalassitis, who tragically took his own life in March 2019.
TROLLS
Montana, 25, explains, “When Mike passed away, I was like, ‘I can’t do this any more. This is a horrible industry and I don’t want to be a part of it.’ It made me question everything. I thought, ‘I’m not helping anybody by posting a picture in a dress. I’m not helping anybody move forward in their life or feel better about themselves.”
Her anxiety was worsened by becoming a target for social media trolls, who criticised everything from her all-natural boobs to her skin colour.
She says, “Everything that you believe about yourself is suddenly knocked because of one person. I now try to practise self-love and make sure that I affirm to myself that I am worthy.”
After Mike’s death, there were calls for improved aftercare for contestants on reality TV shows. Love Island producers announced key changes to their duty of care, including therapy sessions in addition to social media and financial training for 14 months after the show.
Asked if this is enough, Montana says,
“It’s not just to do with the aftercare. People go on Love Island thinking, ‘I’m going to make it and never have to work a normal day ever again’, then when it doesn’t happen, it’s a disappointment. It’s comparing yourself to others – not getting the same jobs or the same money as other people – and it’s not getting booked, then seeing someone else getting booked.
“It’s just rejection after rejection, and if you have low self-esteem, you can get yourself into a sticky situation.”
Since appearing on the show, Montana has also called for more body diversity in the villa, and says she is concerned about the proportion of girls having had what appears to be cosmetic surgery on the current series.
She says, “I don’t judge people who get plastic surgery, but I don’t think it’s healthy for girls to see the majority of young women on a show like that having had it, because it makes them feel inadequate. Love Island needs to be more representative.”
Shortly after Mike died, while in the grip of a grief-fuelled depression, Montana had filler in her cheekbones and chin in an attempt to heal herself emotionally.
Describing how she instantly regretted it, she recalls, “I thought, ‘This is going to cure my problems’, but I came home and I hated it. I felt like I’d aged 10 years. I was so upset with myself, because I was thinking, ‘What message is this sending to other people and to my followers? That I can’t be happy unless I get filler?’”
DRASTIC MEASURES
And while Montana says she now has a healthy relationship with her body, it was a long journey to get there. In her teens, after leaving her all-girls high school in Hertfordshire for a mixed college, she says boys judged her appearance and she began scrutinising her body. She would often compare herself to other girls and began taking diet pills to “look more attractive”. She says she kicked the habit by “growing up” but, in the lead-up to entering the villa, took further drastic measures.
“When I heard that I was going
on Love Island, I was doing cardio in the morning, weights in the afternoon, playing sports and trying to curb my diet. It was that feeling of, ‘I’m going to be more attractive if I’m skinnier’. That mindset is so unhealthy.”
Following the show, she dropped to a size 6 after becoming busy with work commitments – including a modelling contract with online fashion brand Pretty Little Thing – and neglecting to eat. “Looking back, I probably wasn’t the healthiest at all,” she says.
FULFILLED
Now a healthy size 8, Montana continues, “I no longer put pressure on myself to look a certain way.” She goes to the gym “if she feels like it” and isn’t tormented if she gains “a bit of weight”.
She’s in a better place emotionally too, and her business is also going from strength to strength. As well as having therapy for depression and anxiety, she has relaunched her swimwear line, Swim Society, as a sustainable brand committed to empowering women of all shapes and sizes. With a zero-retouching policy and an inclusive model comittment, Montana says she feels “way more fulfilled” now she is using her platform to positively change people’s lives.
Montana also credits finding love with helping her feel calm and content.
She began dating ex-rugby player Mark O’Connor, 28, at the end of last year, and says, “To this date, I don’t think we’ve had an argument, which is insane because in the past I’ve had awful arguments in relationships. He’s so calm. I feel like it’s an adult relationship, where we sit down and communicate. It’s really comforting and that really helps my anxiety.”
After moving in together earlier this year, Montana says they have already contemplated tying the knot. She says, “He is marriage material! He’s lovely. We’re both really open about what we want and the future plans. It’s really exciting.”
‘I practise self-love and affirm I am worthy’