‘Men, if you want sex, take the bins out!’
Journalist, TV personality and broadcaster Vanessa Feltz, 59, recently revealed how she keeps the spark alive with her partner of 15 years, fiancé Ben Ofoedu, 49 – she sends saucy messages to him and wears “slinky underwear”, while he cooks in nothing but an apron.
The Strictly star was married to surgeon Michael
Kurer – with whom she shares two children – before their divorce in 2000, and began dating Ben in 2006. She now agrees with Caprice, but says men need to step up, too.
She says, “I don’t want to do it all day, every day. I’m a normal person. I have to get up at 3.30am every morning to be on radio so I must be one of the most tired people in the country! But for ease, closeness, romance, and to keep you both happy, I agree with Caprice – sometimes we have to put our best foot forward.
“Don’t just let your marriage plod on and watch him slip into his pyjamas while you sip Horlicks – one of you will feel unattractive and you’ll have an affair or he will. It’ll turn into this horrible sibling-type relationship where you’re watching each other cut your toenails. Yuck!
“In my years as an agony aunt, I’m always astounded by how many couples don’t have sex or go without it for a long time. But it’s up to the men to step up, too. We all want to be seen, heard and acknowledged. It’s about feeling desired, but also loved and respected.
“When I injured my leg and went to get it checked at the hospital, without being prompted, Ben came to meet me with a warm coat and a cup of coffee because he wanted to help in case I needed him. I certainly felt more amenable to the suggestion of having sex later.
“Buying your wife knickers and a bra is going to be less effective than taking the bins out or giving the children a bath and putting them to bed. I think if men don’t realise this, it’s sad, as it takes little effort and often no money.
“I don’t believe gender roles play a part – I think men should be able to do it all!”