WHAT TO DO IF YOUR KIDS MIX WITH A ‘BAD CROWD’

If your child starts hanging out with children whose behaviour you disapprove of, it can cause you to worry they’ll follow suit, but remember youngsters often just need support

f you don’t approve of your child’s friends you may fear they will take on their seemingly negative behaviours. Frustratingly, you often cannot control their choices, but be reassured that you can help guide them in their decisions.

ASK QUESTIONS

First, you need to understand what has driven them to make these friendships. Without judgement, ask why they enjoy spending time with these particular peers to understand the benefits they receive. Just because kids have some “bad” habits, doesn’t mean that you should write off their worth completely. If you understand the attraction they hold, you may quickly diffuse some of your fears and come to accept that, while their friendship is imperfect, it is still good enough.

DISCUSS RISKS

If you suspect that your child is around cigarettes or alcohol, encourage them to talk to you about these issues and be honest about the impact they can have on their bodies and developing brains. Rather than forbidding them from going near these things, which may result in them trying them in secret, suggest that they are open and honest with you. Letting your children know they can tell you anything means you are far likelier to know what they are getting up to, allowing you the opportunity to help them understand the consequences of some of their behaviours. If your child’s school work is suffering as a result of their connections, work with their teachers to create an action plan to get them back on track. A knee-jerk reaction may be to ground them, but instead explain that they need to meet certain standards to be allowed to have the privilege of hanging out with their mates. This puts the onus on them to change their behaviour as opposed to blaming their friends for it.

GIVE THEM A CHANCE!

Finally, you may find it reassuring to invite their friends over, as this could lead to you having a deeper understanding of why your child finds these relationships important and you may even realise that many of your fears are unfounded.