REPAIR A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP

Apparently, Prince Harry is full of regret that his relationship with Kate collapsed. Here’s how to extend an olive branch…

There are some simple rules to bear in mind if you want to repair a relationship. You shouldn’t do it if your intention is to reignite a feud or make a point. If you’ve been able to accept whatever has happened and can put it behind you, reach out and without caveat say you want to reconnect.

An apology isn’t always necessary. You can agree to disagree, while also recognising the part you played in the fallout. Say, “Let’s leave what happened in the past and make a pact to start afresh and move forward”. I know of someone who hadn’t spoken to her parents for eight years following a big argument. Both held a grudge, and it was stalemate. Finally they reached out and invited the parents over for a coffee, which was graciously received and that relationship was very quickly repaired. They didn’t rake over the conflict, they agreed to simply move forward. Nobody needed to apologise about the difference of opinion, but both parties apologised for how they made each other feel. If you feel at fault, own it and apologise. Deep conflicts can dissolve in seconds when someone unreservedly says, “I’m sorry”.

Don’t just do it because you think you should – sometimes rifts cannot be healed, when the “crime” has been too severe to find a way past it. If that’s the case, recognise that the best thing for your wellbeing is not to be in touch anymore. Talk to a therapist or to a friend to get to a place where you can accept what happened but recognise that this person can’t be a part of your present or your future.