BEAUTY LAB Boob jobs in a box. Yep, you read that right
They offer plumper assets, but can acting beauty editor Becci Vallis bin off the padded bras for good?
The Organic Pharmacy Breast, Neck & Bottom Enhancing Lotion, £49
Don’t save all the fun for your top half, get your butt in on the action, too – Kimmy K would. Claiming to have an anti-gravity effect, this uses two phytobioactive extracts that work on plumping the fat cells over the muscles. You do have to dedicate six weeks before you can expect to see results. Great if you remember, but for quick perks, go elsewhere.
Editor’s pick... Nannette de Gaspé Plumping & Lifting Techstile Infuser Bust, £130
For us A-cups, the lure of a half- to full-size boost – in under a week – from a stick-on patch is mind-blowing. Using marine collagen and hyaluronic acid, just wear these for an hour under your bra, six days in a row. There was definitely a rounder finish and more perk. Reseal each time so they keep their stick.
Nior London Uplift, £60
Lubing up the lipids and activating cell-renewal fibroblasts in the bosom, in clinical tests this clocked up an 8.4% increase in breast volume after 56 days, and an 18.5% improvement in firmness after 30. But who’s to say that wasn’t down to time of the month? On the ‘up’ side, there was definitely a smoother outcome after several uses, and it wins for best-scented boob job.
NIOD Neck Elasticity Catalyst, £50
Looks and feels (but thankfully doesn’t smell) like Vicks. Primarily developed for the neck, guinea pigs at NIOD HQ extended their applications south and noticed bust benefits. True story. With caffeine acting as a stimulant to push ‘up’ and elastin-forming proteins that smooth crinkles, it feels like an invisible gel bra.
This Works Perfect Cleavage Firming Lotion, £38
Let’s face it, touching up the twins can feel a tad awkward. Luckily this formula makes light work of the task in hand – literally. Disappearing straight into skin, the upgraded version of the original now contains moisture-giving hyaluronic acid, plus antioxidants, such as ginseng and barley, to stop wrinkles between boobs. A good idea, but essentially a supercharged day cream.