WORST DATES EVER Nervous poos and nostril-checking? Enter Prince not-so-charming

Hey, we’ve all been there…

We’d only been sitting in the bar for five minutes when he looked at me apologetically and said, “Sorry, I think I just need to dash off quickly for a nervous poo.” MAGGIE, 22

He said I could either pay him back for our failed date, or set him up with a friend who would go on a second date with him…

KATE, 27

I went out with a work colleague who was obsessed with golf. His idea of a fun date was taking me for a lengthy walk around his favourite course. He didn’t score a hole in one that day. ROWENA, 26

AFTER ONE DATE, I RECEIVED A TEXT SAYING I’D ‘LOOK HOT PREGNANT’. WHEN I FIRED BACK A BAFFLED REPLY, HE SAID HE WAS ‘JUST TALKING DIRTY’. NAOMI, 25

To apologise for being three hours late for our date (he’d ‘taken a friend for a bacon sandwich’), he turned up at my work with a pair of stockings that I was to wear on my next shift so he could come in and look. I worked in a supermarket. EMILY, 22

Post-drinks, he told me his place was nearby and invited me for dinner. I went, but his gaff was a house of horrors – full of pet lizards and a snake that he boasted “shared his bed”. TAMARA, 21

He waited four dates – by which point I’d started to think I could be on to a winner – before telling me his ex-girlfriend was due to give birth to his baby imminently. SARA, 24

My date came up really close to me, flared his nostrils and asked if I could check if his nose was clean. Eww.

JENNI, 39

I met up with a guy who called cocktails ‘cocks,’ and thought marmalade and margarine were the same. Strangely, being offered ‘a cock with margarine in it’ didn’t sound appealing.

AARON, 30