ONLY GIRLS ALLOWED Classic films, reimagined, with a women-only cast. Because what’s taking Hollywood so long?
As the female-led Ocean’s 8 hits cinema screens, here are four more films we’d love to see get a woman’s touch…
Stand By Me
Remind me: Eighties classic set in the summer of 1959. Four 12-year-old friends go on a mission to look for a missing boy’s body in the woods, nearly getting flattened by a train on the way. Who was in it? A baby-faced River Phoenix, Corey Feldman and Wil Wheaton – with Kiefer Sutherland as a bleached-blond bully. The dream cast: Four rising teen stars – Stranger Things’ Millie Bobby Brown, Iris Apatow, A Wrinkle In Time’s Storm Reid and Rowan Blanchard. Then: The boys get freaked out by leeches attacking their private parts in a swamp. Now: What’s terrifying now is the lack of 4G. If four teens go to a forest and no one puts it on Snapchat, did it even happen?
Fight Club
Remind me: Man with terrible insomnia meets devil-may-care soap salesman Brad Pitt and starts a secret fight club. Should have tried a lavender pillow spray first. Who was in it? As well as Pitt, Edward Norton – plus Helena Bonham Carter as an out-there love interest. The dream cast: Jennifer Aniston in Brad Pitt’s role. She’ll win an Oscar for playing an amateur bare-knuckle fighter (better than her ex-husband did) and we can finally stop all this ‘poor Jen’ nonsense for good. Then: The characters’ side hustle is selling soap made from actual human body fat. Now: Their side hustle is an organic, vegan, cruelty-free beauty range.
Dead Poets Society
Remind me: English teacher goes renegade in snooty all-boys school, encouraging kids to rip up their textbooks, follow their passions and seize the day – and stand on their desks. Who was in it? Robin Williams as teacher John Keating, and a young Ethan Hawke and Josh Charles (Will off The Good Wife) as two of the fan-boy pupils. The dream cast: Inspirational and unconventional? Angelina Jolie stars as the teacher. Elle Fanning, Black Panther’s Letitia Wright and Kathryn Newton (from Big Little Lies) play the pupils in need of enlightenment. Then: Boys try to impress girls by reading them poetry. Now: Girls couldn’t care less what men make of their creative output.
The Hangover
Remind me: The morning after a stag do in Vegas, there’s a tiger in the bedroom, a baby in the wardrobe and a missing groom. The friends retrace their steps to work out what went wrong. Who was in it? Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis and Heather Graham – as a stripper (yawn). The dream cast: Emma Stone plays the bride-to-be. Tiffany Haddish, Margot Robbie and Phoebe Waller-Bridge are her girl gang out for one last hurrah. Just imagine the fun. Then: A £3k-a-night suite in the swanky Caesars Palace. Now: A cupcake-making workshop, a Beyoncé dance class and a meal in Jamie’s Italian (the maid of honour wangled some free prosecco).