THE HI-FI SLIMMER

Like something out of a ’50s UFO movie, multipolar radiofrequency uses a panel emitting high-frequency radio waves to heat fat cells underneath the skin. It makes (some) cell walls disintegrate and release their fatty acid content into the bloodstream, after which the liver gets shot of it. Intended result: fewer/ shrunken fat cells, smaller saddlebags/tummy roll/bingo wings. It should feel warm to a bit hot, but not painful. But in the wrong hands and with the wrong machine (there are lots, varying from useless to decent), skin can get burnt – it’s happened to fellow beauty journos.

THE EXPERT VIEW “This can cause a level of fat-cell-death, but it’s only minimal,” says Dr Dhillon. “You also get a little skin-tightening, which would slightly smooth lumpy skin and is probably what patients most notice. Overall, results are inconsistent.” The Venus Legacy machine is probably the gold standard, but, says medical aesthetician Renée Lapino, you need six to eight weekly treatments (about £1,350 for the course) to lose centimetres. Which will last you, even she – a Venus proponent – admits, “months”. Unless you get indefinite monthly top-ups.

I SAY I’ve had several iterations of multipolar RF over the years (not including Venus Legacy), with results so minimal as to be invisible. The technology could work if you had it every week for the rest of your life. But I’m no oligarch-who-lunches.