The survivors’ stories
Sexual assault and rape have never been more widely spoken about. But in the current climate, what does it really take to report it? These 15 people want to tell you ›
Survivors’ voices are often lost amid the noise: the blare of social media, the low-fi grumble of the legal system in action, the squeal of headlines and the chatter on our TV screens. But these 15 people know what it takes to cut through that noise. They know what it takes to look stark statistics – like the fact that only 1.5% of rape cases reported in England and Wales lead to the suspect being charged or summonsed to court (compared to 14% four years ago)† – in the eye and do it anyway. Some saw convictions, others are the human faces of the other 98.5%. The decision to report an assault is a hugely personal one. Some go to the police straight away, others later, others not at all – but what does it feel like to go through the process? We asked. And these are their stories.
“I had a recording. What more did they need?”
Sarah,* 24, from Dundee, was in an abusive relationship. She reported a violent rape to the police. I used to think rapists walked free because of a lack of evidence, but that wasn’t why I hit record on my phone as I was raped. My ex-partner had been abusive for years – he’d broken bones in the past. But he’d make me feel like it was all in my head. I wanted to prove to myself what was really happening. I reported the rape a few weeks later, after we broke up. I told the police all I could and handed over my phone. I thought the more evidence they had, the better. When I played the police officer the recording, he said it was the most horrific thing he’d ever heard.
The case went to court this year. Everyone was adamant there would be a conviction. I thought: now I’ll be safe and no one else will have to go through what I did with him. We were floored by the verdict. Under Scottish law, a case can be found not guilty, not proven or guilty. He was found not proven. That means the jury thought he was guilty, but there wasn’t enough evidence for a conviction. But what more did they need? All he had was his word – he claimed it was role play. I worry the outcome wasn’t to do with evidence at all. The misconception that you can’t get raped in a relationship still exists. Lots of people question why I stayed with him and now some feel they can overlook what happened. My real friends believe me, but I often find I’m the one having to defend myself.
“She held my hand at the sentencing”
Ellie Clarkson, 21, was raped by a stranger at a party in London in 2015. She spoke to the police straight away. He was convicted, although his sentence has since been reduced. The same police officer was with me all the way through my case. She told me what to expect and gave me regular updates. I was only 17 at the time, so she’d copy my parents into any emails. She said she wasn’t comfortable putting me forward [to go through a trial] unless she was confident we would win, so she wanted to gather as much evidence as possible.
The trial date was finally set for July 2017, two years after the assault. I was petrified and messaged the officer constantly. She tried to prepare me. She warned me that the defence barrister would try to catch me out. She wasn’t allowed in the courtroom while I was giving evidence, but she was just outside the door – and she was there holding my hand at the sentencing.
I remember hating the defence barrister at the trial. I kept telling myself that he was just doing his job. He’d ask me a question, I’d answer, and then because I hadn’t answered the way he’d wanted, he’d ask it again in a slightly different way. The judge was firm with him and often said, “She’s just told you.” At the sentencing, the barrister was just as obnoxious. He tried to get the sentence down by saying things like the rapist “thought I fancied him”. The officer and I passed the barrister when we left court. She grinned at him and said, “You alright, mate?” He went bright red and scuttled off. It felt like a small victory.