What I’ve learned about love... from spending £ 5,000 on dating

New Yorker Lana* on why she’s invested her savings in a matchmaker

i’m not looking for just any relationship. I’m looking for THE relationship. I’m 26 and in the next decade I want to get married, excel in my finance career and become a mom. But, like so many others, I’ve also had a second unpaid job: trying to find love on dating apps. And it sucks. So when I saw an invite for a singles’ event – something I wouldn’t normally go to – I decided to check it out. And that’s where I met the person who helped me turn my dating track record around.

I noticed her as soon as she walked in. She radiated charisma and had the sweetest smile. When I introduced myself, Lauren told me that she worked with Three Day Rule, the matchmaking service that was hosting that night’s party. She slid me her contact information and the next phase of my monetary and romantic life began.

I then met up with another Three Day Rule matchmaker, Michal, to explore a six-month membership for $6,500 (around £5,300). It’s a lot of money – and that was with a promotional discount. I felt a rush of “I can’t believe I’m about to do this”. But, then again, people spend way more than that on their weddings. When I looked at the cost as more of a contribution to my future Big Day, the money suddenly seemed reasonable.

What followed was like a movie-makeover montage. Michal set me up with a professional photographer (who took some amazing pictures of me) and wrote me a glowing bio. In her words,

I’m a high-powered businesswoman with a passion for the arts. Hearing that really boosted my confidence – it made me realise that I am impressive.

Michal then used my pictures to connect me with matches in the TDR database of more than 120,000 singles – and to talk me up to any guys she met in real life. She approached so many men that I’d honestly have been way too scared to talk to. She even recently chatted up a guy for me at a baseball game and now we’re going out this week. He’ll be my fourth date since signing up. All my matches have been great: smart, sweet, emotionally mature.

And I love how brutally honest her feedback has been, especially when she tells me what my dates have said about me. Apparently, I’m too self-deprecating and too shy. This hasn’t upset me in the slightest because she relays the criticisms in a way that shows she cares. Her advice has changed the way I now approach dates.

Still, it’s stressful to have spent nearly $7,000 without having locked in a long-term thing. Sometimes I feel like I’m counting down until my chance of love expires. After all, I only have six months left of my membership. I’m hoping that, before it runs out, I’ll know what it’s like to fall madly for someone. Everyone deserves that. And if dropping serious coin gets me any closer, then it feels worth it.

“I want to know what it’s like to fall madly in love”