My best sex ever was... cheating on my husband

After tiring of vanilla sex, Anya* sought satisfaction outside of her marriage

I’m sitting in our spot in the corner of a hotel bar, thinking about the orgasms I’m going to receive tonight. Will there be a long build-up, or will we get straight to the fast, pulsating releases he knows I love? I keep my eyes down, trying my best to ignore the ring on my left hand. When he arrives, he whispers a sweet “hello” into the back of my neck. I find myself wishing this happened more than twice a month. And wishing he were my husband.

Until recently, I took my vows seriously. My husband and

I met at university, and while there wasn’t an instant spark, he was my first boyfriend – and he was persistent. So when he proposed two weeks before I graduated, I said yes.

Fast-forward five years, and we have two toddlers and a vanilla, one-sided sex life. Forget foreplay, experimentation and rippingeach-other’s-clothes-off passion – he’s never even gone down on me. Not once. “Why don’t you try?” I asked him in bed one night. “That’s a hard no for me,” he replied. “I don’t like it.” After that, he told me he’d rather I didn’t ask again. So that night, sex ended with his orgasm, and I was left lying there, unsatisfied.

Not long after, I noticed a hot guy lingering near me at the supermarket. Eventually, he came over and said, “Whoever put that ring on your finger is one lucky guy.” I remember thinking, “If only that guy realised how lucky he is.” Something in me snapped. That night, I set up a profile on a dating service for people already in committed relationships.

Soon, I connected with James.* He seemed handsome, kind and adventurous, and after discreetly messaging for two weeks, we decided to meet up in person. That night, I was so nervous. Even as a married woman, I was sexually inexperienced because my husband and I had been together since we were young. I also felt guilty, wondering if I’d really tried everything I could to get pleasure from my husband. But then I thought about all the compromises I’d offered that he’d rejected. Oral was non-negotiable for him, so I decided that instead of denying myself, I’d just have to get it from somewhere else.

So I cheated. James knew I hadn’t experienced oral sex before and he was more than willing to go there.

No one had ever considered my pleasure the way he did. Four orgasms later, I was panting on the bed. After my final climax, I found myself obsessing not about my marriage, but when I’d get to see James and do it all again.

Now, I try to see him as often as I can, and we text daily. Some people may ask why I don’t leave my husband, but it’s simple: we have kids and they’re my priority, and my husband is a great father. Maybe it’s unrealistic of me to expect him to be all the things I need. And maybe it’s unrealistic of my husband not to expect me to need more.

“No one had considered my pleasure the way he did”