Your not-so-secret single behaviour

The worst dates, disastrous DMs and everything in between

Although I’d told him about my severe nut allergy, my date took me to a restaurant, saying it’d be fine. One bite of food later, I was vomiting. He then tried (and failed) to kiss me.

HEIDI, 28

Hey Jess, you don’t know me but I was just wondering why you’ve not replied to my mate Dan on Tinder?

He’s into you and is upset…

Hello?

“Are we back in high school?” Jessica, 30

After showing up late and stoned, he asked how many people I’d slept with and if I “squirt”. I left straight after eating, but he told his friends we’d slept together.

FREYA, 24

He suggested I bring my twin, so he could “set her up with a friend”. He arrived with five mates.

LISA, 35

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My date (who’d pursued me for weeks) stood me up. In the gym the next day, I realised he was working out next to me…

LIV, 30

At a bus stop, my date asked me to take my heels off as he felt “intimidated” by me being taller than him.

SOPHIE, 26

Hey, it’s been fun getting to know you but I don’t think there’s enough between us to go on another date. Sorry!

No worries, was thinking the same x

Hey, sorry, didn’t mean to send that to you. You free for a call later?

“I didn’t reply, obviously. The audacity!” Ellie, 29

He didn’t believe I was into kickboxing so I did a few moves – and accidentally punched him so hard that his lip split.

HARIETTE, 24