First love
Each month, we send two exes on a (virtual) date to see what happens
“I feel guilty about how I treated him” Sarah, 20, is a model from Belfast
James and I met at a party when we were 17 – he tried to joke with me, but I wasn’t impressed. A few months later, we got talking on Snapchat. He asked me to another party, and we realised how similar we were. If you put my personality into a man, it’d be James. We made things official about a month after that party in August 2018, and went to our sixth-form dance together. I was really nervous on the way there, but James was so reassuring and supportive. That’s when I realised I loved him – after that, we were inseparable. Whenever I spent the night at his, we’d cuddle up in our onesies and talk about the future. We tried to work out ways that we could get married, but worried our parents would think we were too young. We even got pet rats together! About six months in, James and I started arguing, especially after we’d been drinking. I broke things off in February 2019. After the break-up, I hit a rough patch and got back with an ex, but it made me realise that out of everyone I’ve been with, James was always there for me. Going into the virtual date, I was nervous. I still feel a spark, but I think I’m more into James than he is me. I always end up drunk-texting him, and get butterflies. I enjoyed the date, and we didn’t stop laughing the whole time. I realised how much I took him for granted and I do feel guilty about how I treated him. If he got with someone else, I would be upset, but I’ve prepared myself for it. With my work, I’d rather not be tied down, but in an ideal world we’d be together.”
“We have a strong connection” James, 20, is a student living in Norwich
I didn’t really know Sarah when we met, but we had mutual friends. I saw her at a party and made a joke that didn’t land. She laughed in my face and walked off, so I was happy she didn’t hold it against me when we started talking on Snapchat later. She was flirting with me, but I made all the moves.
We went to a concert for our first date, but it was so loud that it wasn’t the best place to get to know each other. After that, we spent a lot of time together, and my love for her built gradually. We hated going on cheesy dates to the cinema, so we always went on crazy adventures instead – like getting our pet rats, or going for a walk at 5am. I’ve never met anyone else like her; she’s always up for a laugh and we really do have the same personality. Everything felt so easy.
Towards the end of the relationship, we bickered, but only when we were drunk, and usually over something stupid. I wasn’t expecting the break-up, but it didn’t come completely out of the blue. After an argument we’d had, things just slowly spiralled.
I didn’t have many expectations of the virtual date and I didn’t feel the need to get closure, so it was fun to just reminisce about the good times we had. I’m not sure if we will get back together in the future – it’s possible. A part of me thinks that chapter is closed, but you never know. We have a strong connection though, so I definitely want to stay in contact.”