Life is a cabaret
QMy daughter has always had a love of theatre and has performed in amateur productions throughout her school years. She is now determined to study acting seriously, rather than pursuing an academic career at university. I don’t object to this in principle—however, she’s a terrible actress. Should I ask one of her teachers to break the news? C. F., West Sussex
ANo teacher will do so. Theatre is the triumph of fantasy over reality and even drama teachers believe, in the face of all evidence, that the sun will come out tomorrow. She’ll never get into a kosher drama college, by the sound of things.
Mercifully, a lot of higher educational institutions, desperate for nice, safe, middle-class tuition fees, have cottoned on to this and offer drama courses that at least end up in a degree, rather than a jobseeker’s chitty. Her peers in the piranha pool of student theatre will quickly strip her of her delusions and she can then slide with dignity into stage management, meejah or politics with no loss of face.
Meanwhile, start to whistle Mrs Worthington, nonchalantly, while you’re doing the ironing. It may drip through.
Resident agony uncle Kit Hesketh-harvey solves your dilemmas