Life is a cabaret

Country Life Every Week - - Town & Country Notebook -

QMy daugh­ter has al­ways had a love of the­atre and has per­formed in am­a­teur pro­duc­tions through­out her school years. She is now de­ter­mined to study act­ing se­ri­ously, rather than pur­su­ing an aca­demic ca­reer at univer­sity. I don’t ob­ject to this in prin­ci­ple—how­ever, she’s a ter­ri­ble ac­tress. Should I ask one of her teach­ers to break the news? C. F., West Sus­sex

ANo teacher will do so. The­atre is the tri­umph of fan­tasy over re­al­ity and even drama teach­ers be­lieve, in the face of all ev­i­dence, that the sun will come out to­mor­row. She’ll never get into a kosher drama col­lege, by the sound of things.

Mer­ci­fully, a lot of higher ed­u­ca­tional in­sti­tu­tions, des­per­ate for nice, safe, mid­dle-class tu­ition fees, have cot­toned on to this and of­fer drama cour­ses that at least end up in a de­gree, rather than a job­seeker’s chitty. Her peers in the pi­ranha pool of stu­dent the­atre will quickly strip her of her delu­sions and she can then slide with dig­nity into stage man­age­ment, mee­jah or pol­i­tics with no loss of face.

Mean­while, start to whis­tle Mrs Wor­thing­ton, non­cha­lantly, while you’re do­ing the iron­ing. It may drip through.

Res­i­dent agony un­cle Kit Hes­keth-har­vey solves your dilem­mas

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