THE DFLS

Arabella and Jacob can’t believe how much they can get for their money in the countryside after selling their two-bed flat in Fulham. It’ll work out fine, as long as he’s on the 5.45am to Paddington each morning. She jokes at the farmer’s market that they are “DFLs” (Down From London) as she slides £2 into her jazzy-coloured Mulberry wallet, change from a tenner for a loaf of artisan bread. Still, all this access to local organic produce will represent a better life for the children. Admittedly, it gets slightly tiring driving the glass bottles to the organic dairy to refill with unpasteurised every few days, as does having to conjure up new recipes out of the relentless brassicas in the veg box, but Arabella could have booked a Tesco delivery slot in London and this is all about a fresh start.

They have, of course, now bought a dog, which the children love. It’s terribly naughty and Arabella wonders if just one puppy class was enough training but she’s sure it will settle down as it gets older. It’s all part of country life, just like the badger cull she agreed to on her land as she’s a firm believer in keeping these old country traditions alive. Aside from the now-barren night life, Arabella and the children are thriving. Poor Jacob, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be ageing at all well with his new life in the country.

• I’ll be taking a look at more country clans in future columns.