How does a mother say goodbye to her children?
Single mum Emilia Fox tackles the most emotional role of her career in Mum’s List, about a mother-of-two with terminal cancer. She tells KATE WHITING how making the film, based on a true story, has moved and inspired her
ON NEW Year’s Eve 2007, when Kate Greene’s son Reef was in hospital being treated for cancer, she told her husband Singe she would swap places with the toddler in a heartbeat.
The following year, with Reef beating the odds to make a miraculous recovery, Kate found a lump in her breast. By Christmas 2009, she was told she had just 18 months to live, but died less than a month later, leaving a list of 79 things she wanted her family to do – from looking for four-leafed clovers to diving in the Red Sea.
Kate’s story was immortalised in a bestselling book by husband Singe (short for St John), called Mum’s List, which is now a film starring Emilia Fox as Kate.
“It’s every parent’s worst nightmare that your own child will be ill, which is what happened for Kate and Singe when their little boy got cancer,” says the actress, 42. “And then you would say, ‘I would swap places with my child,’ and do anything for them – but the horrible truth for her was that she did swap places and got cancer herself and didn’t survive.
“For me as a mum, it’s incredibly easy to feel the emotions of that...”
Emilia, best known for playing forensic pathologist Dr Nikki Alexander in the BBC’s longrunning series Silent Witness, is a single mum to six-year-old Rose, from a relationship with actor Jeremy Gilley.
“Obviously, Rose is my priority and I make sure that whatever work I’m doing works for her, and that there’s a consistency. That’s what I took from my parents: no matter what work they were doing, my school life and family life and feeling very loved and safe was integral to them, and that’s what I try to give my daughter.”
While filming Mum’s List in Clevedon, Somerset, where Kate lived, the actress was also working on the new series of Silent Witness, which starts on January 2. But weekends meant spending time with Rose.
Of course, the film highlights how important family love is and to make the most of those precious moments you have together. So definitely a way of dealing with those emotions was to go home and make the most of every moment, and be normal.”
She describes the role as “a huge honour, but also a huge responsibility” to do Singe and his boys Reef and Finn proud.
And while her co-star Rafe Spall could speak directly to Singe to help portray him, Emilia had to rely on “Singe taking me through every scene of the film and telling me where Kate was emotionally and physically at, each time...”
“We had a good old chat for a couple of hours in a pub and a good old cry when Singe told me the story,” she says, “and it was so intense that one of Singe’s neighbours saw us and mistakenly thought he was breaking up with a girlfriend!”
Admitting it’s the most emotional role she’s ever played, “particularly because it’s true”, she says. One of the hardest scenes to film was where Kate says goodbye to her sons.
“If a mother is preparing to say goodbye to her children, how on earth do you do that? You would want to carry on kissing them forever... It was a tough couple of days on the film.”
Also a tough shoot was where Kate reads her list to camera.
“I was very aware that my emotions as Emilia didn’t overtake Kate’s emotions. I didn’t want to cry and make it obvious I was crying on my behalf.” In real life, Kate didn’t write her list in one go, but over weeks, with Post-it notes and texts to Singe, who then compiled them all. Its contents ranges from instructions like not letting the boys smoke, always kissing them twice and eating her favourite orange Club biscuits, to more adventurous wishes, including roller-skating around the Natural History Museum (which they’ve ticked off) and buying a speed boat.
“So many of those things on the list resonated with me,” says Emilia. “It’s a celebration of the very ordinary, normal things in life: you make sure there’s food in the fridge, and know what’s happening with the afterschool club...
“What, for me, is most touching about the list is the way she wanted to remain part of her sons’ lives and their future. Even though she was not there physically, she was absolutely omnipresent all through filming.”
Making the film has taught Emilia the same lesson she got from seeing two autopsies in preparation for Silent Witness.
“One was an older man before I started in the series and later a young man in his 20s, which didn’t seem natural as he was in the prime of his life. It was very thought-provoking. What I took away from it, by coincidence, was exactly Kate’s motto: To make the most of every moment.”
It’s been 20 years since Silent Witness came to our screens, with Emilia joining the cast in 2004.
“I feel very proud of it,” she says. “There aren’t many shows that make it to 20 years and it’s still made with the same passion. We’ve just shot the most challenging episode I’ve ever worked on. It has Nikki doing things I’ve never been asked to do before. It will be a surprise for everyone.”
If Mum’s List and new Silent Witness weren’t enough, Emilia is also starring in new Sky 1 drama Delicious this month, alongside Dawn French.
“I love working with Dawn! It was a real lift to do that – I did it in the hiatus of Silent Witness, so it was in the summer in Cornwall. Rose and I went to Cornwall and had a holiday there – it was beautiful!”
She admits she’s been “lucky” with her work, but believes her greatest achievement by far is being a mum.
“Motherhood is everything – and it’s been the best thing that’s ever happened in my life. It makes me feel more complete – I feel very lucky to have my daughter. ” Mum’s List is in cinemas now. Delicious starts on December 30 on Sky 1 at 9pm. The new series of Silent Witness starts on January 2 on BBC1.