For the good of the boys, Jack was not in their lives for a time
TV star and life coach Jeff Brazier, father of the late Jade Goody’s boys, tells HANNAH STEPHENSON about meeting up with her widower, Jack Tweed, and dealing with grief
TV PRESENTER Jeff Brazier has morphed from Essex cheeky chappy and reality TV star to qualified grief counsellor. The 38-year-old presenter and former professional footballer, a regular on ITV’s This Morning and single father to the late Jade Goody’s sons, Bobby, 14, and Freddie, 12, is now a life coach.
He’s also an ambassador for the children’s bereavement charity, Grief Encounter, a role for which his own experiences make him eminently qualified.
Jeff was widely admired following the death of former girlfriend and Big Brother star Jade, when he looked after his boys and protected them from the media glare.
Jade died, aged 27, from cervical cancer in 2009. Although they were no longer together – she had married Jack Tweed a month before she died – there was never any doubt Jeff would have sole custody of the children.
He initially kept his distance from Jack, who faced a number of assault charges and convictions in the years following Jade’s death, but after a chance meeting, Jeff asked if he would like to see the boys. This led to Freddie and Bobby being reunited with their estranged stepfather two months ago.
“I know Jack had a difficult time in the relationship (he was with Jade for three years) and a difficult time after Jade died, and as a result, it was a difficult decision for me, but the way that he was living at the time wasn’t conducive to the stability of two bereaved children,” Jeff says of his decision to sever ties with the widower.
“While it was a hard decision to make at the time, it was never permanent. I’m very pleased to say that a month or two ago we were invited to dinner at his mum and dad’s house and the three of us went and had a really lovely time.
“They gave the boys each a gift of a big framed picture of their mum that Jack had received at the wedding. He’d kept hold of them for the boys for eight years, which I thought was wonderful.
“There’s a reason we stay in touch with people sometimes. It has to be for the good of the kids. It was for the good of the kids that he wasn’t in their lives for a time, but maybe now he can start to integrate himself back into their lives, because he has priceless memories of their mum.”
He hopes the boys will see Jack more regularly, but is not going to put pressure on them, he says. “It has to be right for him as well. I could imagine that on that day, he had a lot of emotions going through his mind, both before, during and after seeing them, and for some people it might prove too much. I don’t know when they’ll see him again, but I hope they do.”
He writes about Jack in a chapter of his first book, The Grief Survival Guide, an informative, part-autobiographical read, that explores the symptoms of grief in its many forms, using case studies and his own experiences to navigate loss and all that comes with it.
His own life has had rocky patches. His mother, Jeanette, gave birth to him at 16 but his father decamped. When her relationship with his stepfather – who he thought was his real father – broke down, they ended up for a time in a women’s refuge in Yarmouth.
When he finally found out who his real father was, it was too late. Stephen Faldo was skipper of the Marchioness, a party boat that sank in the Thames after colliding with the Bowbelle, a dredger, in 1989. Stephen was among the 51 dead.
Jeff has clearly learned a lot bringing up his two sons and dealing with their grief, but has somehow managed to move on. His girlfriend, travel PR Kate Dwyer, lives with them at his home in Essex.
“My coping mechanism at first was to shut up shop and concentrate solely on the boys. When I realised I was doing OK, I started to welcome the notion of having a relationship,” he says.
“Kate and I have been together three years and we have a great relationship. It’s hard for her being a step-parent. It would have been easier for girlfriends in the past because my children were adorable.
“Teenage children are not always cute and adorable and it requires more patience and understanding on the part of your partner coming into that family. We work very hard on our communication and that’s why the relationship’s been doing very well.”
He has always had a six-month rule before introducing a new partner to the boys. But they got on straight away.
“It’s a balancing act. The boys don’t compare her with Jade. I wasn’t with their mum. They have scant memories other than the pictures I show them.”
So, is he planning on getting married?
“There’s no point in being in a fantastic relationship for it to not head anywhere, so that has to be the aim. At this stage in my life I’ve got to be building something. The relationship is a good one, so I think it’s very possible.”
“We’ve got a wonderful balance where the boys get that female influence in their lives.”
He also hints that he’d like more children. “I love being a dad and I’d be intrigued bringing up children with the person you bring them into the world with because I haven’t had the benefit of doing that. I can imagine it being a hell of a lot easier. It would be a relief to share the responsibility.”