How NOT to deliver news to someone who is ill!
TV STAR IN ONLINE PLEA FOR MORE SENSITIVITY FROM DOCTORS
TV STAR and online blogger Holly Matthews says that many doctors need to learn how to deliver bad news to patients.
The Byker Grove and Waterloo Road actress lost her husband, Ross Blair, following a three-year battle with a rare form of brain cancer in July.
Ross, who died at the age of 32, was the son of former Coventry City and Aston Villa player Andy Blair, while his brother Matty currently plays for Doncaster Rovers.
Holly has now revealed some of the horrific experiences they went through at the hands of insensitive doctors during that time.
In her latest online video, the 32-year-old says she wants doctors and consultants to learn “how not to deliver news to somebody who is ill”.
She also recognises that not every doctor has shortcomings in this area and says that her video is “not about slamming the NHS” as she and her family are “staunch supporters of the NHS”.
Speaking of doctors and consultants, Holly says: “I have massive respect for that kind of genius in anybody.
“Whatever sector you are in, whether you are a doctor, a solicitor or a writer, if you’re a genius in whatever you do, then I have massive respect for that.
“But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have respect for your patients.
“When we went to Coventry University Hospital there were certain individuals within that who dealt with Ross – and me probably more than Ross – terribly.
“I had a conversation when Ross started to go downhill with a consultant – I’m not going to name names – but I do remember being in a corridor after being told what Ross had going on was just water and the initial person I spoke to said, ‘We will deal with it.’
“There was no talk of the tumour growing. “That was our initial conversation. “Then I spoke to a consultant in the corridor next to the nurses’ station and he said, ‘Well it’s grown massively. It’s growing very fast now.’ “I was like, ‘What?... Why has nobody told us this? We were told it was fluid.’ “And he went, ‘Well, I don’t know why that hasn’t happened.’ He then said to me – and how I didn’t headbutt him is testament to meditation to be quite honest – he said, ‘Do you understand the severity of this?’ “Yeah. Yeah I do. Do you understand the severity to my family? “I kept my cool. He was horrendous.” Another incident that riled Holly – who is mother to her and Ross’s daughters Brooke, six, and Texas, four – was when Ross was originally diagnosed with the tumour and the consultant told them the news from a “slouched position”.
She said: “All I could think was you are telling me my husband has grade 4 brain cancer... Sit up. Sit up and engage with this conversation.
“I don’t care that you have said this 20, 30, 50, 100 times to other families. This is happening to my family right now. Sit up.
“It really, really jarred me and I almost became preoccupied by that.”
Holly believes that education is the way forward and says doctors’ learning should also include knowing how best to deliver bad news.
She said: “There has to be something from university on to the shop floor, dealing with patients, where we absolutely have to teach consultants about body language, about how to deliver news and it’s not about being soppy actually.
“It’s about acknowledging that just because you’re ticking boxes and going with what you’ve learned at university, that has a real-life impact on the person that is sat in front of you.”
To follow Holly on YouTube, go to https://www.youtube.com/channel/ UC68XJWus5904s8VSM-mCBjA
All I could think was you are telling me my husband has grade 4 brain cancer... Sit up. Sit up and engage with this conversation. Holly Matthews