Baby spa visit would be the perfect break... for parents and kids
THE fair has rolled back into town. Any free space is now full of equipment and plug sockets are taken up with machinery.
After a few days of solitude, the twins are back from their mini-break at gran’s house, and they’ve made their presence felt.
We’re back to one full bin-bag a day. As a man, one of my many duties at home, is to take care of anything bin-related.
To the point, I wash the bins, clean under the bins, buy the bin bags, put the bins out, orchestrate overfull bin compression and bin collection.
Nobody knows more about that bin system than me.
The bins are one of the few things in the house exclusively still mine.
The fact refuse comes under my jurisdiction is how I know we used to do one bin bag every four days.
Although I remember very little about bin logistics as a single man, but that’s probably because I didn’t care.
Anyway, I realise not everyone is involved in the bin game so despite all the kerfuffle, I’m happier now they’re back.
Happy is probably too strong a word because it’s hard work but it has sparked an idea.
A luxury spa break hotel exclusively for babies. It wouldn’t have a sauna, steam room or big deep pool because I’m fairly sure they’re a no-no.
However, you could have baby massage, exciting different foods to try (after six months) and cots lined with high thread count Egyptian cotton.
Parents pushed right to the edge of their physical and mental limits can drop off their small offspring in full confidence the children will be
DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST-TIME DAD OF TWINS
enjoying a holiday of a lifetime.
Mum and dad return to their empty shell-like home of silence and realise the point of life is not to sit quietly and read or watch television or eat dinner at a table.
Life is about tiredness, noise, activity and brief bursts of sunshine when a child smiles at you.
They will then return to collect the baby the next day having learned what made you happy before children was an illusion. There are two immediate issues with the venture. The first being staff, as for every 100 babies, we’ll need 100 members of staff. The next issue is cost but that’s covered by the pricing policy. Occasionally, parents might discover they prefer the serenity and dignity of no children. For those who need a nudge in the right direction, the price of an overnight stay will double every additional night, ensuring everyone learns about the benefits of living with children.