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COUPLE TELL OF THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF GIVING A LOVING HOME TO TWO YOUNG CHILDREN
ROB and Sam Langley-Swain had always wanted to be parents.
After ten years together, the Warwick couple decided to begin their adoption process for not one, but two children, in January 2013.
And the following year, their family was complete – with the couple welcoming a seven-year-old and a four-year-old to their home.
For National Adoption Week, which runs until tomorrow, Rob has opened up to share the highs and lows of the adoption process, advising others who might be considering the same route.
“It is much harder to find adopters who are willing to adopt siblings as opposed to one child, and we knew we wanted to help keep a sibling group together,” Rob explains.
“We did have initial match in December 2013 but it fell through the following February. We had photos of the children and had even decorated their rooms.
“It was heart-breaking and we were ready to give up and walk away.”
The couple decided to attend an adoption activity day on Sam’s 30th birthday in March 2014, where adopters can meet children in need of adoption with a view to a match.
It was there that they eventually found their children.
By July their family was complete, and after an initial two weeks of visiting the children at their foster home, Rob remembers their early days together.
“I remember feeling very conscious of every action I made when welcoming them into our home for the first time,” he recalls. You’re welcoming kids that have already had negative experiences in their lives, so it’s natural to think about how they might react to things we are used to doing every day.”
Rob and Sam came up with a few ideas to help them settle in.
“For the first 100 days we decorated our kitchen table with toys, all of which had a different theme, which made them look forward to breakfast time,” says Rob.
“We also decided to set up a photo wall made up of all the people in our family that they were going to meet.
“This included a basket of polaroid photos so that when certain members of the family were coming over to visit, they could hang their photos on a washing line in the hall. “Every Christmas Eve we also give each of them an album of photos highlighting what they’ve done that year. All of these subtle things have helped them to settle in.
“If there’s one golden piece of advice I can offer, it’s to try to not worry about what could go wrong and have a positive mindset.”
Rob is head of marketing services at Wasps and the club was keen to help spread the word about National Adoption Week. The club offered every adoptive family in contact with Adoption Central England or Adoption UK free tickets to Wasps’ crunch Heineken European Cup clash against Bath today as well as Wasps FC Ladies’ match against Richmond Women in the Tyrrells Premier 15s.
Rob added: “When I mentioned this idea to Wasps everybody was on board. “Adopting a child is difficult and rewarding in equal measure, and hopefully this gesture has enabled adoptive families to have a day out and create some lasting memories together.” Adoptive families wishing to register for their tickets should visit the ACE Adoption Central England Facebook page, which has further details.
It is much harder to find adopters who are willing to adopt siblings as opposed to one child. Rob Langley-Swain