Build a fuller, happier life by deciding what you really want
WE’RE often sold the myth that happiness is a positive feeling that we can somehow chase and achieve.
I think it’s more helpful to think of happiness as living your values and doing what matters to you.
The first step to building a happier life, therefore, is to stop avoiding what you need to do to get there.
There are lots of things that can get in the way: not knowing what we want, not feeling up to making changes, difficult thoughts and feelings.
Although our reasons for putting off doing what’s needed may be understandable, ultimately we have to accept responsibility for making changes.
You can use the following steps to help you along the way.
Identify values that are important to you
OUR values tell us what we want to stand for in life and what kind of person we want to be.
To identify your values, think about an area of life that is important to you (eg relationships) and think of a few words that describes the kind of person you want to be in this area (for instance, kind, trustworthy, thoughtful).
Pick one value to work on now ASK yourself what is your highest priority right now?
Make sure you select a value that you actually want to work on. It can be helpful to consider which values are important to you but that you do not feel you are living by at the moment.
Identify some goals related to this value
FOR example, if I choose the value of being thoughtful in my relationships I might identify goals such as buying my partner a meaningful birthday present, ringing a friend to ask how she got on with a recent job interview or helping an elderly neighbour with their shopping.
Choose one goal to work on now and identify the action steps you will need to take
FOR example, action steps toward buying my partner a meaningful gift might include: thinking about what they need/want, researching places to buy the gift, buying it, choosing a card and writing a heartfelt birthday message.
Finally, once you have identified action steps – take action!
START checking the steps off your list in pursuit of your goal.
By using our values to identify goals and guide our actions in this way, we can start to build richer, fuller, happier lives.