ASK THE EXPERT
A SUE ROGERS, a mental and emotional health expert at Action for Children (action for
children.org.uk), who leads The Blues Programme, an early help schools programme for teenage depression, says: “If there has been a noticeable change to your son’s moods and behaviour, acknowledge you’ve noticed it. The sooner he understands you’re aware his mood is different, the sooner you can begin to support him.
“Explain that it’s a brave thing to talk about how he’s feeling. Think about what he responds to and how to best approach an initial conversation to effectively explore what’s really going on.
“Think about what elements of your son’s life have changed – does he complain about certain classes at school? Is he coping with school pressure or issues with his peer group?
“He may find it easier to open up to you in a more relaxed setting like on a walk together or trip out in the car. Keep the conversation about everyday things to begin with and offer some reassurances that you’re here to support him, whatever’s going on. Try not to be too direct with your questioning so he feels more comfortable to talk about what’s really going on.
“Let him know sometimes problems can feel impossible to share. Suggest that saying them out loud on his own might help to build up the confidence to talk about them. He may feel braver and more able to write down how he’s feeling on paper, focusing on key words such as worried, unhappy, sad and anxious.
“Schedule some fun activities through the week like going for a walk or meal together. This is when he’s likely to feel safe and share his concerns. Don’t be afraid to seek help. It’s helpful to know whether others are seeing a change in your son too.
“Turn to family members, friends and his teachers to get a clearer picture on what’s happening and how it’s impacting his mental health.”
■ For more advice, visit Build Sound Minds at the website buildsoundminds.org.uk
■ February 3-9 is Children’s Mental Health Week (childrens mentalhealthweek.org.uk)