A matter of loaf or death

Lockdown may mean a horrifying glut of banana bread and tough economic times ahead... but the only alternative is much worse

CAN I say something controversial? I hate banana bread. Even though it seems to be the home-baked item of choice in these lockdown days and my Facebook timeline is awash with the efforts of various friends, the idea of it makes me retch.

I’m not keen on bananas at the best of times but teamed with bread? Monstrous. I just don’t get it.

I have a long running joke with my better half when we discuss this (yes, the winter nights do fly by) based on a comedy sketch where Eddie Izzard pretends to be a rather poor would-be murderer and asks his victims: ‘cake or death?’

Of course, the joke is most people reply: ‘cake, please’.

Now, though, it’s not funny anymore. Now there are people among us who, given the choice between staying at home and staying safe or lifting the lockdown, choose the latter.

They would sooner choose death than cake.

I’m not just talking about the idiots who congregate in parks with their mates, drive for miles for a day out or pop to their cousin’s house for a barbecue party.

Those fools are selfish dimwits with little regard for their own safety or that of others.

No, I mean those ‘Tory grandees,’ ‘economic experts’ or ‘top businessmen’ – all usually unnamed – who are apparently

‘pushing’ for a lifting of the current restrictions.

If it doesn’t happen – and happen soon – they argue there will be an economic meltdown that no country in the world can afford.

People will lose their jobs, livelihoods will vanish, deep recession will ensue.

And you know what? That is a very real risk. But then take a look at the alternative.

A quick-smart return to normality, to an easing of social distancing, might be good for the economy but will almost certainly be very, very bad for the nation’s health.

It will mean more deaths. Deaths of the old, of the vulnerable, of your relatives and mine. Maybe our own. Lockdown is hard. Patience, in many quarters, is wearing thin and the burden of it is heavier still when there seems to be no end in sight. But we need to be careful. We need to carry on protecting ourselves and our families and the NHS, and if the price we have to pay for that is a few more weeks of restrictions, that’s the way it has to be.

We may end up in recession but that is a temporary thing; economies can be rebuilt. People can’t.