Back seat cycling

I was sitting watching the Tour of Turkey with my wife Ali (a CW subscriber and an avid follower of pro cycling). She was instructing me on the politics of the peloton. She informed me that if a rider needed to pass wind, he was on his honour to slip to the back of the peloton to do so — something to do with gentlemanly conduct, or some such.

Is this true? Surely not. Anyway, I don’t know if I should believe her, I reckon she makes it up as she goes along. For instance, we were watching the World Championships from Bergen, when the ubiquitous 'red carpet fiasco' reared its ridiculous head. My advice, shouted at the screen, was to “cut the blooming thing in half, for goodness sake!” She replied that they couldn’t do that because it belonged to the mayor and it was his stair carpet specially loaned for the occasion. “But maybe they could have folded it in half,” she conceded. Please save me someone!

Andy Crooks ( still long suffering), email