How to shop your way to ultimate fandom

Chris Marshall-bell steps into a fantasy world of life-defining loyalty to Worldtour cycling sponsors…

I decided to build my dream house in France, so first of all I went shopping: I bought kitchen and bathroom appliances from Bora and Hansgrohe, a turbo trainer (for my Trek bike) from Decathlon for my pain cave. The flooring came from Quick-step. I used my Arkéa bank card for all the purchases, and the overseas shipments were delivered by both Easypost and Postnl.

The floor under the shower started to leak, but I enlisted the help of construction engineering company Wanty, and some silicone from Soudal did the trick. I could eventually shower, and used shampoo and perfumes from Dsmfirmenich and Alpecin.

I had to take a personal loan from Cofidis, though, to cover the additional costs, and debated whether AG2R La Mondiale or Groupama offered the best home insurance. I then went supermarket shopping in both Intermarché and Lidl, and bet my leftover cash on the French lottery with FDJ.

After all that exertion I needed a holiday. So I flew direct to Australia with Emirates. Down Under, I rented an RV from Jayco. On my return to the northern hemisphere, I stopped off in Astana, Bahrain, the UAE, and Al-ula, and learned Arabic on an Education First language course.

Refreshed, I returned to work, and let Visma control my business’s cloud-based management. I wanted to get my employees active, so they now rent bicycles with Lease a Bike. I always insist, though, that they scrub their mitts with Ineos hand sanitiser before starting work!