Pick ’n’ Mix
Are ye buyin’ or just lookin’?
1 TOKEN THREAD FIT 7 IN 1 BB
£89.99, i-ride.co.uk Making a business out of selling perfumes of everyday smells will never work – it’s just common scents. But going into the bottom bracket market? Well, it’s working for Token, whose universal BB pledges to quieten noisy pressfit bottom brackets by way of a composite-metal sleeve that screws together inside your BB shell for a secure, creak-free seat for the supplied 30mm bearings.
2 OTE ANYTIME BARS
£1.30, otesports.co.uk To misappropriate the words of Keith Bontrager, energy bars can be nutritious, cheap or tasty. Pick two. Then there’s these flapjackstyle bars. They’re still double the cost of a Snickers, but in the grand scheme of endurance sport supplements £1.30 a bar is very competitive, and each packs 35g of slow-release carbs. Better yet, they’re delicious, so much so our ‘anytime’ has become ‘whenever-there’s-a-cuppa-time’.
3 CYCLE STAR NANOTECHNOLOGY LUBE
£19.99, gonebikingmad.co.uk No, you’re not sitting really far away from this page. This bottle of chain lube really is this small (just 15ml) and really costs 20 quid, putting it somewhere between a 1996 Bollinger and bull semen as the most expensive liquid on Earth. For your money you get a hi-tech lube that is made from laser-produced nano particles of carbon that claims to last up to 1,600km between applications and promises to make your drivetrain quieter, smoother and more efficient.
4 NO QUARTER CYCLE DETAILING KIT
£34.99, noquarterpaint.co.uk Microscopes – they let us enjoy the little things in life. And there’s none so inconsequentially pleasurable as the sight of a shiny bicycle. Yet not all bike cleaners and waxes are created equal, so in a bid to bring the world of high-end car detailing to your bike, No Quarter created a one-stop-valet-shop to address all of your scrubbing and polishing needs.
5 PHIZZ TABLETS
£4.99 each, phizz.co We live in a brave new world where up is down, orange-skinned lizard people lead great nations and websites no longer need a .uk at the end. It’s enough to send you into a cold sweat, but luckily Phizz is on hand to help you replace vital fluids with these orange-flavoured, vitamin-packed electrolyte tabs. Also good for cycling. And hangovers (so we’re told).