Pick ’n’ Mix

A bounteous ensemble of cycling wonderment

Approx £145, abbeybiketools.com There are four things in life you can be sure of: death, taxes and that the average rider will sweat enough during a Grand Tour to flush a toilet 39 times – great news for Tom Dumoulin. The fourth is that your mech hanger will at some point get bent, which is why Abbey Tools has invented a straightener with an ingenious extendable handle and spangly anodised finish. It costs a fair whack, but you can’t put a price on crisp shifting. £2.19, clifbar.co.uk Cliffs are great, but they do have a downside. Clif Shot Bloks, on the other hand, are like supercharged Jelly Babies. Each bar contains six 33kcal blocks of deliciousness, packing in precious electrolytes and more glucose than you can shake a sugarcane at. They’re not for snacking on, but for energy on the bike they’re invaluable. £380, tissotwatches.com If there’s a watch for winners, it’s the T-race from Tissot. And if there was a winner for watches, it was certainly Monsieur Chrono, as Jacques Anquetil was known. At 3am on the eve of the 1967 Criterium International he was neck-deep in whisky with team boss Raphael Geminiani, having pulled out of the race with illness. ‘Let us toast Poulidor’s victory tomorrow,’ said Geminiani of Anquetil’s bitter rival. ‘Janine, set my alarm for seven,’ barked Anquetil to his wife. Four hours later the fuzzy-headed Frenchman arose to race 223km and promptly outsprint Poulidor for the win. Approx £180, dokicam.com Ever yearned for an action cam that could double as a robot in a stop-motion animation film about a robot that wants to be a real boy? Well, neither had we until we saw the Dokicam, a helmet-mounted HD camera that weighs just 140g and shoots in panoramic 360° glory. The Adventures Of Pidokio will be in cinemas this August. Approx £140, altorlocks.com In 2015 a clean-up operation began to remove 45 tonnes of ‘Love locks’ from the bridges of Paris, shackled on by star-crossed lovers to symbolise unbreakable love. Bike thieves aren’t nearly so romantic, but this grade 5 titanium lock will stop them in their tracks and, at just 560g, it won’t bother either your pocket or the French authorities too much. Ooh la la!