‘It’s absolutely heartbreaking car I can’t help but feel like
Closed coffins, no family, fears over infection, no PPE and why funerals will ‘never be the same’ – heartbroken funeral directors speak to Ffion Lewis
FOR more than 40 years, funeral director Gareth Jenkins has supported families on their tortuous journeys to say final goodbyes to loved ones.
As an undertaker, he has reassured his customers with a friendly smile, comforted with a reassuring handshake, offered warmth with a solemn hand on the shoulder or knowing nod of the head.
But for the past six weeks the 61-year-old has been travelling with just one passenger.
The personal touches, so important for those grieving, have gone.
Strict Government guidance has turned celebrations of life into formalities.
Often attended by only a few. Unable to embrace or offer comfort to each other. Keeping distance at two metres.
“It’s a very sad picture. What is so alien to me is the distance, the lack of contact,” said Gareth.
“Now, when I get in the funeral car I can’t help but feel like I’ve forgotten something.
“Usually you’d have the family there with you but it’s just me now.
“We try and get to know the family as much as possible before the service, so we’d usually go to their home or they would come to us.
“I’m doing funerals where I’ve had no contact visually with the family, that is really hard.”
Last month, the Welsh Government issued guidelines on who should attend funerals.
The exact number varies, depending on the size of the building. Numbers must be kept to a minimum, though, with the two-metre social distancing rule applied.
Those who can attend must sit apart unless they live in the same house.
For families, but necessary are devastating.
“It’s absolutely heartbreaking at the moment,” said Gareth.
“For a lot of people, they haven’t been able to see their relatives for weeks before they pass away. these cold measures
“Whereas usually families would be able to come and see the body in the funeral home, that’s just not the case now – we’ve been instructed to close the coffins.
“I feel really sorry for people who haven’t been able to say goodbye – whether that’s because their loved one was ill or they’re not able to attend the funeral.”
While no universal number has been issued by the Government, individual local authorities have limited the amount of mourners in attendance.
“It’s a lottery at the moment who is able to attend. We’ve had instances where children haven’t been able to be with their parents and I just think you have to exercise some common sense when they live in the same house,” he adds.
For Gareth, the only welcome change is the increased use of technology.
“The whole industry has changed enormously over the last two months or so, and it will do going forward.
“Everything is being done electronically now – from registering deaths to recording services for those who can’t be there.
“We’ve had some people joke that it is good for business but it’s really not.
“All services are down to the bare minimum, all of our limos have been put in the garage.
“The service we are able to provide is now very limited.”
Gareth also feels an enormous sense of responsibility to his staff.
“It’s stressful thinking of sending staff off to work around bodies without proper equipment.
“It’s concerning, we all have families that we have to go home to.
“Luckily for me, my sister is providing us with PPE because she has had to close her business so is making some for us.
“We’re getting bodies coming from nursing homes and hospitals who have the virus, so it’s vital to have the right equipment.”
Gareth says that with fewer people being able to attend a church or crematorium, funeral servic