‘I had a second chance, I want others to as well’
AT HIS lowest, Kyle Howells was homeless, drinking the pain away and had turned to dealing cocaine to earn some money.
The 32-year-old’s life had turned upside down when he was diagnosed with a bowel disease which left him living with pain daily.
It led him down a dark and dangerous path, and the dad from Penygraig in the Rhondda considers himself lucky to be alive. Now he wants to use his experience to help others.
“I have been to that place and I have had a second chance. I want others to as well,” he said.
Kyle’s problems started around five years ago when a breakdown in his then relationship left him living alone.
“I have always suffered with stress but it got to a point where I was struggling. Then I started to suffer with really bad guts and bad abdominal pain.
“My doctor told me it was just irritable bowel syndrome and to go back in a few days, but it got so bad I had to go to hospital and lucky I did because I had bowel disease. If I had left it longer it would have ruptured.”
Kyle spent five days in hospital and following his recovery he was left in a lot of pain which prevented him from working as a painter and decorator.
Due to issues with not being able to claim benefits, Kyle was unable to pay his rent and was left homeless.
“I went into self-destruct,” he said. “I was drinking. I started to sell cocaine. One night I went out drinking, had food knowing I would be sick as I couldn’t handle my drink, and I came home and I went to sleep, I believe subconsciously, on my back, knowing I would be sick.
“I woke up in the morning and I was absolutely soaking. I had thrown up all over myself. I don’t know how I am still here. I think part of me, subconsciously, tried to end it all then.
“I said ‘this is where the fire starts burning and I try and turn my life around’. From there I started.
“I started back Thai boxing, which I used to love. I met my partner Emma and we have a boy, Idris, together now. They have both helped me so much and are such a big part of my story. I built and built myself back to a good place.
“I wanted to help people now I felt like I was OK; I wanted to help other people who had been in my situation.”
Kyle started a Facebook page called Smile with Kyle, where he posts videos of himself to encourage others to talk about their mental health.
He also takes a group of people on a walk each Saturday where they do guided meditation and cold water swimming, something he said has had a huge boost in popularity over the past few months.
He is also growing his hair ready to donate and has been raising money for the charity Mind in the process.
“My motto is to empower society to be more mindful of their body and mental health,” said Kyle.
One thing that helped in Kyle’s recovery was the discovery of Andy’s Man Club – talking groups for men who have been going through tough times. He attended a group in
Porthcawl and on his first visit he knew he needed to bring it to the Rhondda.
“After going once I was, like, ‘Rhondda needs this’. I know the mentality in the Rhondda, people need help to break their mindset.
“The group just starts with simple questions like ‘how has your week been?’, one positive, and anything to get off your chest.”
He got in touch with Andy’s Man Club and they started their first sessions in October last year and have run every week since, even through lockdown as an essential service.
“It just takes going that one time to make a difference. I know there are men that have turned up and sat in their car for an hour, gone home, told their missus ‘yeah, it was good’, but it takes a lot to walk through the doors.”
The club was founded following the suicide of Andy Roberts. His family wanted to prevent others from the same heartbreak they faced.
Andy’s Man Club is held at Capel Farm Community Centre in Tonyrefail every Monday at 7pm and all men are welcome.