Peter Hil lBY

OME children are arriving at school hungry and cold with no socks or coats, according to the National Union of Teachers. It claims two thirds of teachers have seen pupils hungry and living in “Victorian” conditions. Many apparently bring in breakfast for the children.

I admit I am an old cynic but I wonder if the approach of a general election has something to do with the timing of these allegations, none of which seem to be supported by hard evidence.

The Labour Party only thinks we have degenerated to the 1930s but the NUT has to go even further, back to Oliver Twist.

I do not believe any child in Britain needs to starve. We still have the most generous benefit system in the world; so good that Calais is packed with migrants desperate to get here having rejected the inferior terms on offer in all the other EU countries they have passed through.

Is it perhaps the case that some parents, knowing teachers will take pity on their kids, send them to school complaining of hunger and spend their money elsewhere?

Why do you think hundreds of food banks have suddenly sprouted? Naturally if there’s something for nothing people will take it. It frees up cash for cut- price lager. A virtuous circle becomes a vicious circle. qONE

of our nuclear submarines, HMS Talent, struck a lump of floating ice when it surfaced in the North Sea during a cat and mouse game with the Russians and did £ 500,000 of damage.

I know exactly how the captain must feel. My trusty VW Golf suffered dreadful damage to the rear end recently when it was walloped by a people carrier. As in the case of HMS Talent it wasn’t my fault. I was stopped in a traffic queue.

The other driver apologised and said he “must have fallen asleep”. And fair play to him his insurers admitted liability. I wonder, though, who will pick up the bill for the sub. Can you even get insurance for one of those things?

It’s the inconvenience that gets you down. The repairers keep moving back completion date and today I will have to return the courtesy car because our bureaucratic council won’t extend the parking permit? “Why not?” I ask. “Because…”

I don’t know if there is a replacement available if your nuclear submarine is out of action. Probably not. In which case we had better hope World War Three doesn’t start any time soon. qOPINION

polls claim Scottish Nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon was the star of last week’s big TV debate. Really? I cheered when she put Miliband in his place a couple of times but her key argument didn’t wash: abandon austerity and “invest”. Over and over again without admitting it’s the English who would be made to pay.

It was a repeat of the first TV debate in the last election when the nation fell in love with Nick Clegg.

It didn’t last long and there won’t be much affection for prim little Miss Sturgeon if she ever gets to inflict her spiteful plan to squeeze the Sassenachs till the pips squeak.

As Prime Minister, David Cameron had everything to lose but he was calm and convincing. Miliband was like a character from Thunderbirds, the version with lots of strings attached.

Only one contender was completely honest – Ukip’s Nigel Farage. Everything he said – the extortionate cost of the EU, foreign aid, immigration, health tourism draining the NHS, the fact that 60 per cent of HIV sufferers are foreigners – was spot- on.

This makes a change from politicians who want to sweeten the truth with a dash of hypocrisy. qTHE

world sympathised with Cynthia Lennon when Beatle John dumped her but I suspect she was better off without him. I met ( more like encountered) Lennon only once when the young Beatles were causing mass hysteria and I was a junior reporter.

We were interviewing them at a Huddersfield cinema where a few hours later hundreds of girls were screaming their heads off. Ringo and George were charming and Paul was just like a mate. Lennon, however, sat glowering on his own. I bet he was a beast to live with. qTHE

refuse collectors of leafy Farnham, Surrey, refused to empty a bin because a crisp packet had been left on top, breaching recycling rules. Similar refusals are happening throughout the country.

Once friendly chaps who cheerfully lugged heavy metal bins on their backs and heaved any old rubbish into lorries, today they are surly environmental despots following a code of Stalinist rigidity.

I’ve given up worrying. When they leave one of my bewildering array of containers untouched I just cart it to the tip myself.

One day I’ll get my own back on them and anyone else who has ever annoyed me because on my gravestone I’m going to have carved the following two words: **** ’ em. qI SUPPOSE it’s encouraging that 49 per cent of Britons now think the Duchess of Cornwall should eventually be Queen Consort but she deserves much more support. Many Diana fans still blame her for the break- up with Charles. They think she should have a lesser title.

Camilla knew she would be on a bad wicket but she has behaved with dignity. Better still she has never lost her wicked, delightful sense of humour. Charles needs her at his side as his Queen.