Meet the ‘ wander women’ who refuse to settle down
A steady career, mortgage and children hold no appeal for these two free spirits, says LUCY BENYON
AHOUSE, children, a career and marriage are the things that are supposed to signify success. However if recent studies are anything to go by, an increasing number of women are turning their backs on the “have it all” ethos to create quite different lives.
Whether they’re choosing to travel – a study by online operator Travelzoo recently revealed that 60 per cent of British women would welcome the chance to travel alone – or they’re just putting freedom and fulfi lment over wealth and responsibility, they refuse to be constrained by convention.
“It is hard for women to untangle themselves from other peoples’ expectations of them, especially those of their parents,” says Olga Levancuka, a life coach and author of Increase Your Confi dence In One Day. “Yet many are now choosing to live differently.”
Here we meet two women who have chosen to live life by their own rules.
AS I celebrated my 40th birthday in America last year I realised I had a lot to be thankful for. Not only had I spent the past 15 years travelling the world but I had good friends in every corner of the globe.
I know my life is unusual as I have none of the things that many people want such as a lucrative career, a mortgage or kids. However I’m also quite sure I don’t want them.
The thought of a humdrum nine- to- fi ve existence scares me. When people ask me when I’m going to settle down, I tell them “never”.
I started travelling once I fi nished university. I spent a year backpacking by myself around Australia, soaking up magnifi cent sunsets in the Outback and snorkelling in the crystal clear waters of the Barrier Reef.
The trip was a life- changing adventure.
When that year was up I knew I couldn’t go back to an ordinary life in England so I moved to Barcelona where I studied for a TEFL ( Teaching English As A Foreign Language) qualifi cation.
Since then I have lived in nine countries including Vietnam, South Korea and Indonesia.
In 2007 I moved to Tanzania to volunteer in a primary school where I set up a community initiative called Project SEED which stands for self- suffi ciency through environmental education and development. It teaches young people how to become self- suffi cient farmers.
People in the UK have no idea how lucky they are. When you live in the developing world you really do experience life on the edge.
I support myself by teaching English and selling my artwork online but I live a simple life. I don’t have a home, a television or a car.
I would consider owning tiny house just to have a base but I don’t know where it would be and I would like to meet my soulmate one day but he’d have to be as adventurous as I am.
My friends and family have always been very supportive of what I do.
Some people I meet think that I’m a little strange but I honestly know that if I got stuck in one place paying off a mortgage for the next 25 years I would feel totally trapped. I know there are lots of other women out there who feel as I do and I’d like to encourage them to tread a different path.
For more information visit projectseedtanzania.com and facebook.com/VixHarrisDesigns WHEN I was young I lived a life that was totally true to who I am.
I spent my winters working on the ski slopes of the Alps and my summers as a tour guide in Turkey.
I was completely carefree and I had no desire for a more conventional existence.
However there was this little voice in my head telling me to grow up so at 23 I returned home and I got a desk job working in tourism. Yet I always felt as if I’d left an important part of myself behind.
My mum was a civil servant, my dad was a quantity surveyor and both my brother and sister built up steady careers.
Yet I couldn’t settle and three years after my return I got a degree in environmental management and then went off travelling to New Zealand and Australia.
I am close to my family but I think my parents despaired of my flighty ways. So in my 30s I tried to knuckle down once again and I got a sensible job as an environmental education offi cer. Although the work was fascinating I hated the offi ce culture and the long hours in an enclosed environment.
In fact the pressure of trying to be someone I wasn’t made me so miserable that after four years I left. The stress of it all gave me chronic fatigue syndrome and as I lay in bed I began to completely reassess my life.
I realised that I’d been at my happiest when I was living on my own terms so I set up a yoga practice and discovered mindfulness and mediation. Very quickly I became so much calmer and for the fi rst time in years I truly felt like myself.
Now more than a decade on I run my own wellness company, Calming the Mind, and offer people one- to- one relaxation coaching as well as mindfulness and yoga classes and retreats.
I am astounded by the number of burned- out women I meet who are struggling to balance children with careers.
I want people to realise there are many ways you can live life. Sometimes we create more stress for ourselves by going against the grain. I feel more fulfi lled and at peace than I ever used to because I’m living the way that I want to.
My partner and I don’t have a mortgage as we hate the idea of being tied down. Instead we house sit for family and friends. To be honest we never have a clue where we might go next and for me that is part of the adventure.