Air rage all down to envy
AS you know I don’t get out much but the other day I was sent to a foreign country and the company paying for my services provided a World Traveller Plus seat – which means a few precious inches of extra leg room, a patterned cushion and a small glass of sparkling wine before take off. Whoop whoop!
The long trek to the loo involved venturing behind the curtain and walking through Economy where the poor people sit ( ie those who pay for their own tickets). Sauntering past this sullen legion, wearing the serene, careless expression of someone who is accustomed to upmarket travel, I could sense they had me down as a rich bitch and were seething with fury about the deluxe decadence on my side of the curtain. But any sense of superiority quickly dissipates when you glimpse behind the other curtain to the lucky few in First or Club Class with their sliding privacy panels, proper lampshades, footstools and seats large enough for a really big bottom. It’s like TV’s famous Class Sketch with John Cleese and the two Ronnies. “I look up to him but he looks down on me” etc.
There is nothing to compare with the snobbery of air travel which kicks in from the moment you get to the airport and see special VIP lounges where you can get a free croissant and a newspaper but which you may not enter.
THIS manufactured snootiness harks back to the days when only privileged people flew. But oddly it has become even more intense in the age of budget airlines when “priority boarding” is about as good as it gets and we all seize greedily on every small perk. They get fewer and fewer too. The boiled sweets, the eye masks, the mini- toothbrush, the mysterious hot flannels served with tongs – all on the endangered list as airlines cut costs.
It’s about envy of course and research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science this week reveals that the very presence of a First Class cabin leads to a fourfold increase in air rage incidents among the under- classes. While those forced to walk through the posh cabin on the way to steerage are a whopping seven times as likely to go off on one.
Which is odd when you think that the point behind the drinks trolleys, the food, the films and the in- flight customer care is to lull us into a state of docile resignation for the hours of boredom that lie ahead.
You’d think that in the interests of avoiding a mutiny, airlines would avoid letting us gawp at where the top people go.
Still, it gives you something to dream about... when you can’t sleep, sitting upright, wearing your seatbelt.