99 YEARS OLD AND STILL RESISTING VEGETABLES...

THIS is National Vegetarian Week and I have vowed to have nothing to do with it, other than eating as much meat as possible. I have tried to explain to veggies that chickens, pigs, sheep and cows are made out of vegetables, which are transmuted into pure meat by their digestive and genetic processes but they never understand. I therefore think it is incumbent upon me to consume the aforementioned animals to make up for the veggies who are trying, for some inexplicable reason, to cut out the middle man, or middle-cow, sheep, pig or chicken. And that is why, last weekend, I found myself enjoying by far the most delectable beef I have ever cooked myself.

The inspiration came from a meal I didn’t have several years ago at Clos Maggiore restaurant in London’s Covent Garden. I was taking a friend for lunch and we spotted beef cheeks on their cheap lunchtime menu.

“I love beef cheeks,” she said, and promptly ordered them. I was deeply disappointed at this because I love beef cheeks too but now felt obliged to order something else so that we could sample each other’s dishes.

When the food came my companion stuck her fork into the meat and lifted a piece to her mouth, when an expression of pure elation came over her face. “This,” she said, “is the best piece of meat I have ever tasted,” and she invited me to try a small piece.

I tried it and understood what she meant immediately. It was so perfectly tender and tasty that I asked the waiter how long it had been cooked for. “Four to five hours,” he said. I shook my head. “I do not believe you can get such tenderness in only five hours,” I said. “I believe this is a long, slow cook, probably overnight at least, at a very low temperature.”

“I think I am right,” the waiter insisted. “I shall check with the chef.”

Some time later he returned and told me he had checked. “I was right about the four to five hours,” he said, “but what I failed to mention was that it was marinated in red wine, onions and herbs for three days before that.”

Under normal circumstances, such culinary indulgence is beyond me. I cook when I am hungry, or when I expect to be hungry in an hour or two. I never know if I am going to be hungry in three days and five hours’ time. As National Vegetarian Week approached, however, I sensed it was time to make an exception, particularly as a succulent looking package of beef cheeks had just arrived from the online butcher donaldrussell.com.

So on Wednesday I gently laid the cheeks into a bowl with finely chopped onions and herbs, covered them with red wine and waited until Saturday. Then I roasted the cheeks for five hours at 160C (was that too high, dear Clos Maggiore people?), reduced the marinade to serve as sauce and wolfed it down with creamy mashed potato.

It was stunning. Thank you, Clos Maggiore; thank you Donald Russell. Next time, I shall try marinating in beer with added yeast, and cooking for 24 hours at 52C as Michelin starred Tom Sellers of Restaurant Story does it. But that will be another Story.