Happy Mondays
Leading life and happiness coach
FEW of us are getting a good night’s sleep at the moment as we marinade in sweltering bedrooms, kicking off duvets and glowering at partners who have the “swamp” gene and snore through.
Even more of us gave up dreaming years ago. Sleepwalking through life we drift without goal or intention, taking what life offers then wondering why we don’t like what we’re given.
Sadly, having a big dream is something you grow out of like acne or boy bands yet having compelling goals in life is the difference between aimlessly meandering and living with purpose.
A lot of coaches talk about “cosmic ordering” as outlined in books such as The Secret, where you view dream manifestation as a sort of celestial Argos: you put your order in and it comes crashing through the ether and is delivered to your door.
It was a dream that made the authors very wealthy indeed. Just think and get rich without any pain or work is selling a dream we are all up for.
But what these wishful thinkingtype concepts fall down on is that if you want your dream to come true you don’t cross your fingers – you get your finger out, do the work and create the steps to your goal. After all, if you want to catch the bus you don’t sit in the living room waiting for it to crash through the wall. We need to go to the right place at the right time and with the pure intention of hopping on.
So it is with all goals. When we are children our dreams are bright, bold and unbridled.
Take a look at Disney Princesses Dream Big video on YouTube and you see children bravely declaring they want to be superheroes and world-class scientists without a glimmer of self doubt or apprehension.
I wonder then when it is that our dreams crash and die or wither on the vine? When is it we give up and grow up with a sigh of resignation and regret?
Sometimes it’s family pressure and a need for security that push us into “safe” professions which dull our brains but pay the mortgage. For others the dream has become buried and crushed by reason and fear.
Many clients well into their 50s are responding to an irrepressible inner calling that pulls them towards the discovery of their big dream or true-life purpose.
The desire to write a book or paint, to start a business or lead and mentor others, to travel or finally ditch the feeling they’ve spent their lives treading water and “going with the flow”, which has found them washed up and dissatisfied.
Our dreams are fragile and beautiful things. Doubt acts like bleach on them. You have to give a dream form (a vision board helps), a belief that it can be yours. Leaving no room for fear you feed it regularly with hope and a happy heart.
Having a supportive group of cheerleaders (or a coach) to keep it alive and keep you going is essential.
To know what you want means to know yourself. When you have clarity you have energy and direction.
When you have clarity you don’t need therapy.