I don’t want anybody to call me brave
The TV presenter tells ELIZABETH ARCHER about life after breast cancer and explains why she is now determined to help other people in the same situation
JUST days before Christmas 2014, Sian Williams sent an email to friends and family with the title, “It will all be fine”. It was her way of breaking the news that she had just been diagnosed with breast cancer.
After deciding it would be too painful to do it on the phone, she composed the email and sent it to her uncle, aunt and closest friends. Then she turned off her computer and phone and went to bed.
“When you have cancer it’s just something you get on with,” she says. “It becomes something you need to weave into the rest of your day or the rest of your life.”
As a journalist and former BBC Breakfast presenter, Sian was no stranger to being in the public eye. But when she spoke about her illness for the first time in May last year she was suddenly thrust into the spotlight.
Sian, 52, held back tears as she revealed her illness to the nation during a moving TV interview.
After being diagnosed with cancer in December 2014, in January 2015 she had a double mastectomy along with reconstructive surgery.
The surgery was traumatic and Sian says she was shocked by how she felt afterwards. “It’s hard to think of there being any laughs in that situation. I think anybody who’s going through any kind of difficult or traumatic event needs to know that it will completely change the way they look at life.”
Despite what she went through, she says she feels extremely uncomfortable being described as brave. “When you have cancer you don’t feel brave, you just feel like this is something you have to get on with.”
Sian also takes issue with the language that is often used in association with cancer, that it is a battle or fight to be won. “The word ‘battle’ suggests that both you and the cancer are armed with weapons and that the best one wins. But that’s not the case. You can have the best surgeon and the best team in the world and you still may not come out the other side.”
WHILE in hospital Sian recorded her ups and downs in a diary. On her low days she wondered whether she would live to see her youngest daughter Evie, now seven, grow up. “The thought of her being a brave, feisty young woman without her mum by her side scared me.
“Your priorities shift when you’re learning to live with something that feels threatening. It throws into sharp relief what’s important and what’s not – and who’s important and who’s not.”
Sian lives in Kent with her husband Paul, 63, a television producer, and their two youngest children, Seth, 10 and Evie.
While Paul was devastated by Sian’s diagnosis, she believes that going through it together has strengthened their relationship.
“I think there is an intensity when you’re both going through something where your focus is on hour to hour and day to day. For me it has been a positive thing. I’ve learned how to ask for help rather than thinking I can cope on my own.”
Sian is a trained trauma assessor who counsels journalists who have been to war zones yet she says nothing could have prepared her for how having a mastectomy would make her feel. “Living with it helped me to understand that emotional recovery is far more complex than I’d realised. It doesn’t go in a straight line, it can feel very stuttering and fragile. That’s why I wanted to be honest about what I had experienced, so people understand that they’re not failing if their recovery goes backwards and forwards.” Thankfully the cancer hadn’t spread and Sian didn’t need chemotherapy or radiotherapy.
In February 2015 Sian returned to work producing documentaries for BBC Radio 4. Meanwhile, she studied for a master’s degree in psychology and started interviewing journalists about their experiences of overcoming trauma. She graduated with a distinction from the University of Westminster in summer 2015 and used her research to write a book.
The result was Rise: A First-Aid Kit For Getting Through Tough Times, part diary of Sian’s treatment and recovery and part manual on how to deal with challenging times.
“I spent 18 months trying to develop a first-aid kit for me and for anyone who felt they needed something to get through a challenging time. The physical impact of illness is one thing but dealing with the emotional impact involves a different set of tools.”
TODAY Sian is looking beyond her mastectomy to the next chapter of her life. “There are so many different bits of us that form our identity. I’m a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a journalist, a presenter, a trainee psychologist and also someone who has had cancer,” she says. “It will always be part of who I am but it’s not the defining part.” Sian has returned to TV to anchor Channel 5’s flagship news programme 5 News At 5 and presents the ITV series Save Money: Good Health with Dr Ranj Singh. She is researching a second book to help parents cope with children with anxiety and is training to run the London Marathon in April in aid of Heads Together, a mental health charity. “It took a lot to say yes because it will be the first big challenge since I was diagnosed. Even if I have to walk around or get pulled around I will finish.”
To order a copy of Rise: A First-Aid Kit For Getting Through Tough Times by Sian Williams (£8.99, W&N) call the Express Bookshop on 01872 562 310 or visit expressbookshop.co.uk