Young Liam, a new baby... and now gran

CONGRATULATIONS to the former Cheryl Cole and her partner Liam Payne on the birth of a baby boy. Let us hope the celebrations are in full swing and the bunting knows no bounds.

Just a note of caution to the new mummy though: you have decided to move your mum Joan in... we get it. She will help with the night feeds, whizz you up breakfast smoothies and be a dab hand with the ironing while you are building your strength up.

It is just that the new dad, at 23, is a lad himself. You are 33. Joan is 57.

You do not want young Liam to feel he has swapped care-free life on the road with the barely-pubescent One Direction boys for a wrinkly responsibility with the cast of One Foot In The Grave.

Maybe he should be allowed some play-dates with lovely Harry Styles.