Happy Mondays
Leading life and happiness coach
THE, “Why do I bother?” sigh is that of the unsung hero. It is the cry from the heart of every mother whose unseen and unnoticed acts of kindness leave her weary and resigned. It is the lot of the quiet, diligent worker who does above and beyond what is required while someone less talented but more voluble gets the professional breaks.
It is the frown that says it would be nice to be thanked when you send a gift on a loved one’s birthday. It is the shrug of resignation that you are the only one in the house who sees the items left on the stairs to be taken up as, yet again, you find yourself tripping your way, arms laden, distributing other people’s things like an in-house delivery service.
You are dutiful and long suffering, stoically tolerating unbearable situations and selfish people and where is your nod of recognition? Why bother indeed? Not bothering is a sign of disconnect. It takes energy and commitment.
When we don’t bother to mind our health, brush our teeth, keep our homes clean and neat, dispose of our rubbish ethically, pay our dues and be of service in some way, life loses its meaning. It is a tough call though when “bothering” is a thankless task.
In his book Do It Anyway author Kent M Keith talks about finding personal meaning and
NOBODY told you life was gonna be this way… fans of Friends can yet again drop the hope of a new series where the gang reunite for fellowship, fun and frolics. Lisa Kudrow, who played Phoebe Buffay in the show, said last week a Friends’ reunion is not going to happen.
She said: “What’s it going to be about? How is it going to work? They no longer hang out in the coffee house, they have all moved away. Chandler and Monica live upstate, Phoebe and Mike deep happiness by living by his paradoxical commandments.
He suggests we find our true connection to life and joy by giving wholeheartedly and doing things that often go against the grain, won’t bring financial reward or recognition but will fill your heart in a way just aiming for achievement, wealth and success may not.
It is finding love with difficult people even though they may not recognise it. Do it anyway. Even when nobody notices your efforts. Do it anyway. Always the one left clearing up, putting your hand up first to volunteer or playing host for community events? Do it anyway.
As Keith says: “Our personal meaning and deep happiness do not depend on the way the world treats us. They depend on how we respond to the way the world treats us. How we respond is always up to us. It is our decision. It is about our inner lives, the part of the world that we control.”
This is a lovely book for all of us who feel overlooked while the world seems oblivious to your efforts. With a switch in your thinking you can ditch the resentment. So here are some questions for you to have a deeper connection and a sense of purpose: 1)What can you do now to make yourself deeply happy? 2)What can you do now that will make someone else deeply happy? 3)Why don’t you do it?
Thank you for bothering. Loved this topical joke: Hoping you all had a very happy Easter.
THEY’RE NOT SO FRIENDLY NOW
probably the same. What reason would there be for them all to come together for a significant amount of time?”
Lisa, ask your agent. They will undoubtedly have the answer and it could well look good for your pension pot.