Beauty icon or a pain in the backside?

IT’S easy to see why headmaster Wayne Leeming, of Melcombe Primary School in London’s Hammersmith, has banned parents from approaching other people’s children in an attempt to iron out squabbles erupting in class. “Sometimes parents hang on to disputes and blow them out of proportion. Children fall out one day and are best friends the next.”

He is absolutely right and though there’s no denying the strong urge to grab the pesky little I ADMIT it. I should have more important things to worry about but I’m conflicted about Kim Kardashian’s buttocks.

Part of me is thrilled that her gargantuan derriere is considered a thing of beauty. Coming from the “does my bum look big in this?” generation, the idea that a thwacking great bum is a fabulous asset has colossal appeal.

On the other hand, isn’t there something so grotesquely cartoonish about her rear that rather than freeing women from the constraints of what is or isn’t considered sexy it sets the bar unattainably high (or wide, depending on your point of view)?

Now cosmetic surgeon Dr Aaron Rollins, who is alleged to have been behind (geddit?) her protruberance somewhat unhelpfully comments: “Fat was taken from her waist and put into her bottom. But it’s transferring problem fat to another area. Problem fat is problem fat wherever it is.”

Whatever happened to patient confidentiality?

HEY, PARENTS, LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE

varmint upsetting your child by the ear and give them the world’s most explosive dressing down, it’s vital to resist.

I watched TV series Big Little Lies starring Nicole Kidman and Reese Witherspoon in a state of such heightened agitation I’m not even sure I enjoyed it. The message, however, is clear. Where children and falling out are concerned always go through the right channels – never, ever take the matter into your own hands.