Does Cher really have to dress up like a tart?

lot of publicity, then wear something bizarre that shows off maximum flesh. Cher certainly understands that. She followed the tassels (actually a strategically placed heart) with another outfit that harked back directly to another showstopper, the supremely ghastly outfit she wore for If I Could Turn Back Time. Taste is not an issue here – getting one over on the competition is.

And yet… Does it really have to be like this? For a start, there’s the unrealistic expectations she’s creating. Not only could almost no woman of Cher’s age have a body like that naturally but most couldn’t afford one either. We know that Cher is no stranger to the surgeon’s knife. As GIVEN the hoo-hah that surrounded the Pippa Middleton/ James Matthews wedding, you would have thought that anyone making a speech on the night would have had the wit to tone it down. Nope: James’s best man Justin Johannsen sank to the occasion and made a series of lewd jokes, managing to compare Dolly Parton said in another context, you have to be very rich to look that cheap. But really, who in their right mind would want to?

There are better ways to age. Jane Fonda looks more glamorous than ever but doesn’t sink to such dross. Goldie Hawn is also looking amazing. And away from showbiz, look at women such as the IMF’s Christine Lagarde. She not only radiates chic but she’s one of the most powerful women in the world and you can’t see her baring an inch of flesh.

Cher is an old trouper and maintains a strong hold on the public affection. But this is looking desperate. Please, enough.

NOT THE BEST OF BEST MAN SPEECHES

Pippa to a dog among much else. Then again, his speech did start at 11.30pm – hours and hours after the reception began, and I am guessing much refreshment must have been taken. Note to future brides: get the speeches over before the heavy duty carousing begins. Always best to have a few inhibitions intact.